Alternative to Suicide - ESCAPE

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by tendenCs_89, Dec 17, 2008.

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  1. tendenCs_89

    tendenCs_89 Well-Known Member

    I dont know about other people, but i see suicide as a means of escape. Escape from this shitty life, escpae from these feelings, escape from the idiots who accompany me and escape from my own head.
    But i feel largely that all this negativity has been created by my surroundings and upbringing, as well as my own mental state. Even though i think about topping myself a lot sometimes as an alternative to suicide i fantasize about escaping this life by other means.
    I imagine travelling to other countries and starting a brand new life. I think about this to the extent where i actually go through the exact details of how i would leave this country, where i would get the money, what i would do when ive got to the place i wanna go, how i would start a new life and support myself etc etc.... I usually imagine living in japan, i think that would be really cool :D
    The best part about this fantasy is leaving everything that exists and never seeing it again, even my friends and family who i mainly love (with exceptions) id love to forget about because there is so much negativity connected with them.
    An important part of this fantasy is that i would not do it alone. I imagine leaving my life with either a girl i love, who loves me back or a best friend who totally understands me. In both cases the person i would be travelling with would be in exactly the same situation as me and would be leaving their life as well. Unfortunately i dont have a friend who i totally feel comfortable with and understands me, and ive only ever loved one girl who has stopped loving me since, so this part of my dream is mainly whats stopping me because i couldnt start this life alone, id be too scared. (also im too young and have no money really) :(
    But if such a person did come into my life and felt the same way i think i would definetely do this (and do a goodbye thread in SF about it :) )
    I also like thinking about the impact id make among the people who know me (i mainly think about the reaction of the people who hate me) and how theyd react and maybe what id say to them in my goodbye letter

    So what i want to know is, does anyone have an alternative fantasy to suicide? How do you envision escaping youre life? What fantasies do you have about what youre life could be like?
     
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    I used to think about traveling. Dropping everything to just go.
    But really, you bring yourself with you wherever you go.
    Wherever you go, there you are.

    There is no escaping yourself. Not even in suicide.
    You end your own suffering anywhere and anytime by changes of mind, not changes of location, although one could precipitate or come as a result of the other.
     
  3. Anju

    Anju Well-Known Member

    I think along the same lines as you in this respect! Getting away, a fresh start with someone who you can trust completely and love while receiving true love in retun...it sounds so good :)

    Though I'd be torn between Japan and America :laugh:
     
  4. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    come to America!
     
  5. NPNS

    NPNS Well-Known Member

    I have "Plan B". I aquired a large sum of money a few years ago, and it's been sitting around gathering dust ever since. It's my escape money. If things ever get to the point where I'm about to kill myself, I just get in the car with my passport and cash and see where it takes me :)

    I'm going on a road trip next year around europe. Always wanted to do that!
     
  6. daredhead

    daredhead Well-Known Member

    I think about escape all the time. I envision myself leaving with no way to find me. I would move to the mountains, where I would be basically alone. I would have my dog, and probably get more. I would also try to either take the horse I ride with me (buy him first) or get a horse when I get where I would be going. I would only have the basic necessities with TV and internet (can't go without those). I would be one with nature, and I would be truly happy.
     
  7. tendenCs_89

    tendenCs_89 Well-Known Member

    that is true i understand that, even if i moved to japan id still be quite messed up
    the main problem for me is social anxiety though, which lessens a great deal when i meet new people or people i feel detached from (such as foreign people - nothing racist just for the simple fact that we are from different backgrounds and have less in common)
    therefore i figure being in a new place would give me the chance to redefine myself and start fresh with the kind of persona i want to have (still being myself but in a more confident and happy way)
    also so many things in everyday life continue or worsen my feelings, (such as the prison that is school) and in a completely free atmosphere i think i would be able to feel better - especially with my fantasy loved one of course :D
     
  8. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    I love the idea of escaping from my life. I'd go old 1920's American Bohemian style and escape to either France, Morocco, Czech Republic, or Croatia---the last one mostly because the most beautiful girl I've ever known came from Croatia.

    These ideas of ours are not fantasies. They are obtainable goals, and only our depression keeps telling us that they're nothing but day dreams. I hope we all get to go to our fantasy place.

    Dragging our managed depression kicking and screaming. :tongue:

    james.
     
  9. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Oh, I escaped. Moved somewhere far away, where I knew no one. Guess what? Life is still shit.
     
  10. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    I had the chance of starting new life in Ukraine, but i did a mistake
    and came to live with my parents, and thay dont really helping me!
    In about a month or 2 i will fly back to Israel, now i will be on my own
    hopefully i will be strong enough to servive.
     
  11. tendenCs_89

    tendenCs_89 Well-Known Member

    wow
    didnt realise people have these dreams as well
    jameslyon youre right it is obtainable, but ive decided i couldnt do it alone i need some person who i love and loves me back and understands me - be it a friend or girlfriend (in my dreams its usually a beautiful girl :D )

    but when i find that person IM OUTTA HERE :laugh:
     
  12. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    :mellow: My gosh...it's like I wrote that post. That is my ultimate dream.
    I don't like where I'm living or the life I have right now.
    I don't want to be tied down any longer by family or other people perceptions.
    I don't want to keep watching my life pass by and feel like I haven't lived.
    Fuck :dry:
     
  13. weltunter

    weltunter Member

    I always fantasised about escaping this world.

    I've moved a lot in my life, had numerous chances to start fresh. Never helped. For me there is only suicide anymore.
     
  14. levitated-one

    levitated-one Well-Known Member

    Hmm,

    For me I want to be taken away from my sleep by an angelic being, taking me home. No place like home
     
  15. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Sometimes a change in environment can really help make a fresh new start at life.
     
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