I dont know about other people, but i see suicide as a means of escape. Escape from this shitty life, escpae from these feelings, escape from the idiots who accompany me and escape from my own head. But i feel largely that all this negativity has been created by my surroundings and upbringing, as well as my own mental state. Even though i think about topping myself a lot sometimes as an alternative to suicide i fantasize about escaping this life by other means. I imagine travelling to other countries and starting a brand new life. I think about this to the extent where i actually go through the exact details of how i would leave this country, where i would get the money, what i would do when ive got to the place i wanna go, how i would start a new life and support myself etc etc.... I usually imagine living in japan, i think that would be really cool The best part about this fantasy is leaving everything that exists and never seeing it again, even my friends and family who i mainly love (with exceptions) id love to forget about because there is so much negativity connected with them. An important part of this fantasy is that i would not do it alone. I imagine leaving my life with either a girl i love, who loves me back or a best friend who totally understands me. In both cases the person i would be travelling with would be in exactly the same situation as me and would be leaving their life as well. Unfortunately i dont have a friend who i totally feel comfortable with and understands me, and ive only ever loved one girl who has stopped loving me since, so this part of my dream is mainly whats stopping me because i couldnt start this life alone, id be too scared. (also im too young and have no money really) But if such a person did come into my life and felt the same way i think i would definetely do this (and do a goodbye thread in SF about it ) I also like thinking about the impact id make among the people who know me (i mainly think about the reaction of the people who hate me) and how theyd react and maybe what id say to them in my goodbye letter So what i want to know is, does anyone have an alternative fantasy to suicide? How do you envision escaping youre life? What fantasies do you have about what youre life could be like?