I dont remember ever being happy ,when i last tried to die i ended up in hospital and it was nice to be there having someone caring for me i havant had that sort of attention ever.Never learnt to say what i mean but im here again waking up thinking oh god im alive it didnt work 38 years of i want to die if i can die in my dreams why not when im awake not get much dream time anyway. There is no one who cares its been three days since anyone spoke to me this may not seem alot but when im gone theyll say oh god hes been dead for so long and no one noticed.Scars on my arms are a sign that everyone can see but no one asks why i give up it hasnt got better i cant see how it will,theres no lower to sink i just want to get out of here