always depressed once anorexic. slipping again.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by drmanhattan, Jan 19, 2009.

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  1. drmanhattan

    drmanhattan Member

    this is my first post. i feel so strange and weird doing this.
    um...wow. shit.
    i feel so depressed right now. i lost my job and i quickly ran out of money.
    no gas, no food. stuck at home, and its not good for me...
    so, i haven't been eating. i'm losing weight fast.

    at first, my friends would take me out, insist they'd "cover" me for shit.
    i quickly started pushing them away. i hate being dependent on anyone. i hate it. i can't do it. i'm such a stupid proud person. its just that with me thinning so much, its true: i just want to disappear. i hole myself up, have alienated myself from my friends. quit applying for jobs HA like that's gonna happen.
    fuck i don't know what to do

    i feel like this is all i have in me to share now. i haven't talked to anyone about this yet, i'm scared of going back into therapy and all of that, really really scrared
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 19, 2009
  2. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hi. i have had an eating disorder since i was 18. i am now 45. i have worked hard the past 2 years to control it (i was bulimic and anorexic. . and laxative (60 per day) dependent. ) (gross) i totally understand. now. hold on. you can talk to me. i am not sure how these forums work. pm 's and all that. but keep in touch. listen, i totally get it. i know. you are not alone. we can get through this together. really ...
     
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