I probably won't kill myself but I'm in so much pain that one day I always fear I will just snap and kill myself. I live alone. I don't have much friends. I live by myself. Age 22, never had a gf and never been on a date. I hate my job and I don't have much prospects. My best friend don't even talk to me anymore, even when I tried talking to him. When I wake up, I sometimes think that's it's all a dream and that I'm not really me, a loser, but in the end, I realize that I am still me. One of the most painful things that happened to me was there was this girl that I really liked. I told her that I liked her but she didn't feel the same way about me. She even suggested we never meet again because it would feel weird. What hurts me even more was that when she had a bf, her bf cheated on her, but she still had the heart to forgive him, whereas in my case, she wouldn't even give me a chance. Some people just don't understand the pain I go through. There was another close friend I had, I don't have chances to talk to him anymore now that he has a gf, but when I told him I wanted to commit suicide and I wasn't joking, the best thing he could say was lol or try to shrug it off as a joke. I'm not a stupid guy, in fact, I do well in school but not well enough to be successful. Also, my people skills sucks. So, I couldn't even get some of the jobs that were relatively easy for all my friends to get. My parents aren't poor, so they can financially support me to a great extent. So people think that I am already much more fortunate than most people. But they just don't see I'm a very lonely guy and the pain is just eating my inside. Even though I am not going to kill myself now. I truly fear in 10 years, it might happen anytime.