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Always have these surges.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by FL1, Jun 22, 2010.

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  1. FL1

    FL1 New Member

    From what I remember the last time I tried to take away my life was five years ago, however I with not attempts I keep having these thoughts that I should do again. I guess what made me not attempt for so long was this little hope inside that things would change, I would change the environment around me would change and this depression would all be a thing of the past.

    I'm starting to see now that the slight chance of hope is damn near gone, and five years later I'm just wondering to myself maybe just maybe things weren't really supposed to change, because it seems to matter what I do and where I go I always end up in the same spot feeling the exact same way.

    I'm not sure if this was the correct forum to post this in (1st post), but I guess from when I was younger seeing how I feel into words on paper (or computer) kind of help in a way.

    I guess there is a question in here somewhere lol
  2. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi FL1 and welcome to SF. Sorry to hear that you have been suffering with depression for so many years. For many people, depression can be a lifelong mental health condition that needs to be properly managed, to ensure that it doesn't spiral out of control. Don't give up hope that things will improve. I'm certain that with dedication and effort, one can improve his/her life. :hug:
  3. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Hey are you getting outside help from a professional? Like was said it is a condition and many many of us here are working with doctors and/or therapists to get through our depression and learn ways to cope so please do consider this very seriously. There is no shame in it and if you truly want to get better there is help out there.
    I think it is great that you posted and please continue to do so...reach out for help here and you will be met with kindness and support. There is also a diary section for you to write out your thoughts, it can be totally private too if you would like. It really helps me to sort out my thoughts.
    Hope to get to know you better and please keep posting as it really helps.
    :arms: Bambi
  4. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forum.

    One of my fears of leaving and starting a new is I will end up in the same spot. I am trying to rid myself of those thoughts. Right now I am trying to change for the better. One thing I noticed is that I feel more change when I am doing something I would not normally do.

    Doubt is a very large hindrance to change. At least I think it is. I hope we can help you out friend.
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