Always In The Back Of My Mind, Lurking

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Godsdrummer, Dec 12, 2011.

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  1. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Like a coiled snake, hiding in the grass, this one thought, stays in the back of head, waiting for the right moment to come out.

    That thought, simply put, is life insurance. My insurance policy wont pay out on suicide, if it happens within 2 years of taking out the policy. I have had that policy for a decade now. And we financial crisis's creep upon us, my thought turns to suicide to save the family financially.

    And tonight could be one of those nights. We are getting a certified letter today that is addressed to my wife. My fear is that it will be a lawsuit from a bill collector.

    This on top of my wife's car being repoed 2 weeks ago, and my paycheck being delayed and all the other crap...I just know that snake is going to come out. And I hate that feeling. I hate that fear, I hate that anxiety.

    Jesus, please, spare me this pain! I pray in Your name, HELP US!!
  2. texaskitty

    texaskitty SF Friend and Antiquities Friend Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter


    I am so sorry you are enduring these difficulties. But please reconsider.

    Although things suck right now, they will get better, things may change, you may have to readjust, but life will find a way.

    I will send up a prayer for you and your family as well.

    Feel free to pm if you need to talk privately. I'm always around.
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