Always misguided emotions and such

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Aphorism, Dec 20, 2012.

  1. Aphorism

    Aphorism Well-Known Member

    Not sure why, but I have been having really odd dreams lately. It's like scratching on the surface of a memory, or a long forgotten feeling. I hate the prospect of Holiday right now. I want to be with my family, or at least with my closer friends. I kind of wish I didn't harbor this crush on someone that can never return it. I have been sick and tired for the past two weeks. So I legitimately stayed home from school.

    I miss so many people, and my life has felt worse than it does now. But I just...the hardships seem so endless, so pointless. I am afraid no one will ever love me the same way I love them. No one will ever openly admit that they matter to me, as much as I feel like I matter to them. I lie, I hate myself, I smile, I am constantly up and down with my emotions.

    I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and it explains a lot of the stress in my life. My head is always spinning, and even today, while I've been relaxed, I am worried. Always worrying, and hating myself, and loving everyone else.

    I don't know. Don't be concerned if you're reading this post. I just don't know how to feel anymore.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hugs to you hun Are you on any medication to help you with your ADHD if not maybe they could help. I hope you get feeling a little stronger soon and that the holidays are not so full of worry for you hugs
  3. VikKalmbach

    VikKalmbach Active Member

    you are a really compassionate person, your wording really interests me. "no one will openly admit that they matter to me, as much as I feel like I matter to them". Are you saying the love you output is unbalanced with the love you feel you get back? I think that love for people is a very desirable trait and you should feel proud of that, its a gift.