always the same

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by lost_child, Feb 22, 2008.

  1. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member


    everyone is the same, they say it will get better..remeber its the past..its not happening about ur feelings...what a load of crap. it doesn't get better.

    take a walk in the shoes of someone whose living thru it..just for 5 minutes, see the scars on the arms, legs, body where once again I've lost control...see the images of being raped, see the images of a little girl crying in the corner, relive the pain, the torture. the depression which just isn't easying, take all the pains for the other medical conditions caused by the depression. Sleeping with someone, the pain that rips thru you from the scars of being raped as a child. the memories as you try to remember the man your having sex with is not the person who abused you. When you look in the mirror, when you see urself, the disgust u feel, the hatred that you feel. Self esteem, confidence...what are they.

    I'm tired of people who haven't been hurt, used or abused telling me that you can get over it but u have to keep fighting. ffs i've been fighting since I was a child, itsn't it time I was given a break from this life.

    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 22, 2008
  2. nicesinging1

    nicesinging1 Well-Known Member

    I can relate what you must be feeling right now. Why? I was told the same thing so many times by many people yet I am still fighting severe depression after 10 years! When does it end? Gosh!
    However, I am going to trust their advice. They told me if we keep fighting, life will give us rewards and we will be able to live happy, wonderful and successful life.
    They also told me one thing interesting that I am trying to absorb. They told me I have to keep fighting even if I live in misery, suffering, pains, and tortures for the rest of my life. They told me that suicide will never be justified and I have to live 20, 30, and even 60 yrs in misery , suffering and depression if it takes that long and pain never goes away.
    I am strongly against suicide. But I can't picture myself going through this much pain for the rest of my life. I really hope this misery ends soon. Very soon.
    Take care and never give up ur fight.
  3. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    I don't want to live with pain and misery all mylife...why would I? I wouldn't. If you have a headache you take painkillers to ease the pain, so why is that when you in pain from " an invisable source" everyone thinks differently.

    Mental illnesses are frowned upon..
    sexual taboo.
    depression.."apprentely" doesn't exist.
    Self must never tell anyone
    Self abuse...untolerable..why would you hurt urself
    pain unseen...untrue

    people just don't understand.

    I personally do not wish to live anymore days with misery, with pain, with memories. I have been fighting, i'm not just "complaining" and sitting on my arse...i've been in counselling for 2 years, I've been seeing a shrink for 18months...I've been trying to reach out, i've been researching, getting self help...I've tried to push myself and do things even when the motivation is gone..but you think its helping, is it f**k.

    sorry, I'm just on a rant.
  4. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I'm sorry lost_child. I guess I'm one of those people who tell you to 'keep on fighting.' I know you must be going through unspeakable pain and suffering, but your life isn't over. You can take back your life. It's just not easy, but you have to fight.