I think i am just a sad person in general. i am always sad and unsatisfied. when i was 15 i started getting terrible migraine. I was in constant pain all day everyday, with nausia too. I always felt depressed and anxious. When i was 16 i became anorexic and developed a crippling anxiety disorder, it got better, but then i got OCD (obsessive complusive disorder) getting horrible intrusive thoughts about being a terrible person. (if you have ocd you'll understand how depressing and restricting your life becomes) Now at 22 i still have ocd (had it for 4, 5 years) i feel exhausted all the time, have acne i'm overweight, have a bf who says he loves me, but has cheated on me in the past and that makes me feel terrible about myself and i can't get over it, even though it's been 2 years. I always feel ugly so ugly like a hideous monster, people shout fat at me in the street, and stare all the time. i think about all the starving people in the world and i think how stupid and selfish i am feeling so sad all the time, when at least i have food and shelter. I am so tired though, so sick of being sad and anxious and having terrible self esteem. I took an overdose a few years ago and it was a terrible experience. I'm not scared of death but i am scared of the process of dying now. the pain, i'm really scared of the pain. I am always thinking of new ways to kill myself, it makes me feel relaxed, but i know i just can't do it again. so i feel there is no way out now.