Am afraid my therapist is going to cancel me as a patient for threatening-need advise

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by cymbele, May 11, 2012.

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  1. cymbele

    cymbele SF Supporter

    Background: Spent all week and weekend crying. Called therapist for an appt. After spending hours crying this week I decided to implementa suicide plan of which you have to buy ingredients and have them shippped to you. I called therapist and canceled the appt and finished up by saying that it was really nice knowing her. She got scared in the am and called the police who were very nice. I had taken 3 Ativan just to sleep last night and had difficulty getting to the phone on time this am so she got scared.

    I ended up agreeing to see her tomorrow (today it's after 12am)

    What if she quits on me. I live 40 mi away from her office and been going there becasue i have been going to her through all the moves (she moved, I moved, well, it's been years.Sometimes the distance bothers me and sometimes the fact we go over the same stuff time and again and nothing changes bothers me. While it gets boring I'm scared that I won't develop another relationship with someone else. And I may lose my insurance at the end ofthis year and then I don't know what to do. I feel un-anchored not only with what happening in my life let alone losing a rock by my side. But then again it wasn't fair to do what I did either in retrospect - I was just glad I had made a decision to end this life and let her know that I appreciated her support.

    But it's the middle of the night and terror strikes in my heart as i contemplate tomorrow's appt.

    Guess I finish up the plans regardless if she quits.
     
  2. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    Re: Am afraid my therapist is going to cancel me as a patient for threatening-need ad

    I would advise you to be thankful that you have had such a wonderful, caring therapist that you can trust! They aren't that easy to come by! Now, IF she decides it's in her & your best interest to refer you to another psychologist, then you can deal with that WHEN it happens. But it serves no helpful purpose in worrying about it beforehand when you don't even know if that's what she's going to do! It's within her professional right, if she feels that she is failing you, and that you need someone who is better or more qualified to treat your condition. But, even if that were to be the case, it might turn out to be the best thing, because as uncomfortable and anxiety ridden as the transition can be, you may find out that you like this hypothetical new one even better (it is after all, possible!). But that may not even happen: dealing with suicidal patients who are severely depressed is part of their job description. So, just don't be so sure that she's going to suggest a new therapist just yet. Good Luck!
     
  3. cymbele

    cymbele SF Supporter

    Re: Am afraid my therapist is going to cancel me as a patient for threatening-need ad

    She didn't quit on me. She and I went over the past few weeks - she's been on vacation -and gave me some assignments to try to pull out of this. She talked to the pdoc who nnow wants to see me - he didn't quit on me before so I think we're good. Therapist wants me to throw away the ingredients I bought although when they arrive I may store them in a safe place.

    So I'm back to where I was when all the crazyinesss started...just down and isolated but with a safety net back in place...I feel that the crying is behind me
     
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