Am concerned im concealing pain with fake joy

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by thebaronspell, Nov 13, 2011.

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  1. thebaronspell

    thebaronspell Well-Known Member

    This isn't a relationship based thread. My mood at the moment is very downbeat I had a long phone conversation with my best friend who happens to be an old girlfriend and she told me her estranged partner assaulted and threatened her and their child. She recently moved a far distance away and I feel very useless that I can't be there in an instant. She was the one person who helped me through my appetite loss and raised my spirits. Told me my ex was a horrible person and I didn't see it I feel so stupid.

    Its my ex's birthday today and despite her apology she has been a nightmare again and so I've told her to get lost for good. I was too scared to leave the house due to the threats and I had felt suicidal thinking I was unworthy of her love when its her who isn't worth crying over. She has almost made me starve myself, take overdoses and almost tell a date no. Well I'm not having it I'm going on the date I'm refusing to speak to her again and if this depresses me when I miss her then fine but women suck. I hope my date is amazingly different and I'm ready to dust myself down and start over. I've been working out at the gym and I did feel great so hopefully soon I'll be in love with a fantastic and deserving woman. Not rushing it I promise.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Good for you hun you keep looking after YOU okay you deserve so much more I hope your date is full of laughter and fun hun Have a great time
  3. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN

    Cecil :hug: Long time no see!
    I really hope you are okay honey. I'm out of touch so forgive me.
    Your ex-girlfriend sounds like a bit of a nightmare and if she is making someone as lovely as you feel this bad then you most definitely did the right thing in telling her to get lost for good.
    I know you will be in love with a fantastic woman soon enough - you are smart and sweet and have a great sense of humour :) It is good that you're not rushing it - you need to give yourself time to heal and to deal with the emotional ramifications of the last relationship. You are definitely worth love and worth good things so don't let anyone make you believe otherwise.
    I'm sorry you're on a downer honey :hug:
    Take care please
  4. thebaronspell

    thebaronspell Well-Known Member

    OMG Sweetness!! Hey babe its been so long :(
    Are you well?
    Its ok I've been in two very serious and heartbreaking relationships since last Christmas. The first one ended because she wanted a baby instantly and I wasn't ready so she dumped me but we're still friends. This ex I've been mentioning lately is extremely cruel, a massive time waster and the love of my life weird as it sounds but I fell for her sweet side :(

    This date is happening Wednesday I'm so excited!! I can't access the chat room from my phone I'll PM you for a catch up honey. I really hope I find someone who won't change and loves me how I am and remains truthful. You're so sweet! I will babe, look after yourself too xxx
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