This isn't a relationship based thread. My mood at the moment is very downbeat I had a long phone conversation with my best friend who happens to be an old girlfriend and she told me her estranged partner assaulted and threatened her and their child. She recently moved a far distance away and I feel very useless that I can't be there in an instant. She was the one person who helped me through my appetite loss and raised my spirits. Told me my ex was a horrible person and I didn't see it I feel so stupid. Its my ex's birthday today and despite her apology she has been a nightmare again and so I've told her to get lost for good. I was too scared to leave the house due to the threats and I had felt suicidal thinking I was unworthy of her love when its her who isn't worth crying over. She has almost made me starve myself, take overdoses and almost tell a date no. Well I'm not having it I'm going on the date I'm refusing to speak to her again and if this depresses me when I miss her then fine but women suck. I hope my date is amazingly different and I'm ready to dust myself down and start over. I've been working out at the gym and I did feel great so hopefully soon I'll be in love with a fantastic and deserving woman. Not rushing it I promise.