Am I a bad person?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Underregistered, May 19, 2009.

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  1. Anyone seen that episode of The Simpsons with Frank Grimes? He was the man who struggled for everything in life, nothing ever came easy and always had rotten luck. I feel like I am Frank.

    I am so envious of people who have it all. I could go on and on about why these people do not deserve all the good things. Am I a bad person for wishing them to fail? I hate them, I hate hearing about them succeed. What happened to karma?
     
  2. BriGuy

    BriGuy Antiquities Friend

    I used to believe in karma... but not so much anymore. I think I have always been a good person, tried to be nice to people, even though those that hurt me, always tried to do the best I can. But every bad thing just keeps happening. Every time I think something good might be happening, it turns to shit again, and falls apart.

    I don't know the character you talk about, but I do know what you mean, and how you feel. I sometimes feel guilty too because I too sometimes wish bad things on people who seem to have it all... especially those that do nothing but complain about stupid trivial things when the important things are going so well for them!

    But I don't think that makes you a bad person!! It makes you human!! And perfectly normal!!
     
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend


    Agreed, agreed and agreed again.

    You arent a bad person but rather a person that just cant stand all the bad things that happen to you. So why should others seem to get it all without really needing to try or for that matter appreciate what they have? You wish them failure because you have more than your share in your own life. But you dont physically act on making those failures happen for others. So nope ... ..not bad. A person who fantasizes about being or doing something they arent or would never try for real, isnt bad. It's actually a healthy way to let out steam or "experiment" with things in your life that you would never do in real. So if it helps wish away hun!!!
     
  4. MeAndYou

    MeAndYou Well-Known Member

    I agree with this to an extent although this level of bitterness and resentment can become unhealthy.

    So why should others seem to get it all without appreciating what they have
    What if someone is thinking the same thing of you? By desiring more are you not losing appreciation for what you already have? Are you not taking for granted the things millions of others live without every day of their life or have to work much harder for?

    This might prevent you from giving someone who is more fortunate, monetarily and material wise, a chance and this person may turn out to be someone you would really love and enjoy being around. It also might create health issues if you're constantly bitter about things and people.

    Its true, many people dont work nearly as hard as others and yet get paid a seemingly criminal amount of money in comparison but there is nothing you can do about that. More often than not that person worked hard to get to that place in their life too. But even if they didnt...are they happy? I think that depends on their outlook. They might look at someone above themselves on the "totem pole" and think if only i was that lucky, i work harder than them why dont i have that?.

    I think the bottom line is there is always someone out there you can compare to and get jealous of, but there are probably way more out there you can compare to and realize how fortunate you are.

    I find money and things to drive us to want more and more and when we cant get it we become unhappy. These things do not always come hand in hand with happiness. I think you can gain great happiness in the things and people that are already in your life when you appreciate that you have them because then the things you dont have hold little gravity on us.
     
  5. poisonedresistance

    poisonedresistance Well-Known Member

    Shit happens... thats life unfortunatly.
     
  6. BriGuy

    BriGuy Antiquities Friend

    Unfortunately, I am not talking ONLY about money or possessions... I am talking about a loving family, someone to love, good HEALTH. And don't get me wrong, I know there are many out there who have none of that too... and I empathize with them. But the ones that DO have all of that and don't appreciate it are the ones that really get to me!

    I know I am more fortunate than many because I have a roof over my head and food to eat... however that is only because of the dependance on my mother... at 36, I should be able to take care of myself now... but I can't any longer... I can't work, I can't drive, and I make crap money from disability. So I AM lucky that I have her, but that only makes me feel more guilty and resent some others even more! And I am lucky that I have her love in my life... but I want more than just ONE person!
     
  7. endlessskies58

    endlessskies58 Well-Known Member

    hello <3

    i believe you should start looking at everything with 'the glass half full'.

    everything in life has a positive to it and if you only decide to look at the negatives then of course you are going to feel unlucky and thus be unlucky.

    there is good in everything.

    if you let yourself get stressed out over being late, then of course everything else seems to go wrong. if you get a bad grade on a test, then of course you feel like you suck at school overall.

    but if you just relax, take a breather, and look at the situation positively, then i bet you you won't feel so unlucky. and this counts for everything i think. even major stuff like death. you need that mourning period of course, but you need to find happiness and the good out of it too.
     
  8. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I hope my reply wasnt misundertood. The op asked if they were a bad person for how they felt. I dont think they are as it is only feelings and not something that makes them go out and act on how they feel towards others. It is only human to want to better our lives and to want some of the things that others may have. So no op I dont think you are a bad person at all for "feeling" the way you do. But I agree that you cant keep living that way. Ocassionally to get it out but dont hold on to that thought or feeling hun. Can only make you feel worse than you do now.
     
  9. Ants

    Ants Well-Known Member

    I am reading a book called The Secret. What you think comes to you... Thoughts become things. Think about when that has happened to you. A current example of this secret is the truck that I drive. For years I have abstractly thought that the perfect truck would be a 4 door 4x4. That covers a lot of bases in my book. I had a truck for sale and a guy came along and we made a fair trade. I am now driving a 4 door 4x4. It's like it came to me. I can think of other times similar things have happened.
    Think you are screwed, you are screwed. Think you can pull out of it, you can pull out of it.
     
  10. BriGuy

    BriGuy Antiquities Friend

    I have heard all about the Secret, and Oprah's big push for it too... and I don't believe a word of it! I certainly never put the thought out there that I wanted to be permanently disabled and be in extreme physical pain 24/7 for 3 years... but it happened! And in fact, for the first 18mos or so after it happened, I would sit and think "I will find a fix for this, the pain will let up, I will walk again, I will drive again, etc"... it did NOTHING! So I have now given up ALL HOPE!
     
  11. Jack Rabbit

    Jack Rabbit Well-Known Member

    On Karma...
    Don't forget, Karma doesn't kick in until you are reincarnated. Your next life will reflect the karma you have earned in this one. You've been watching Earl too much. :biggrin:
    On Life...
    Life isn't a zero sum game. Someone else's success or failure does not add to or diminish your life. I've got this really long story I always told my kids whenever they said, "It's not fair!", which I won't bore everybody with (at least not right now, maybe another time :) ). But the upshot is "So?" Anger is a waste of your energy. I don't know about you, but I don't have any to spare. Sometimes life sucks. Mine has. Yours has. Ted Kennedy's does (and will). I just want mine to get better. If your's gets better at the same time, that's cool.
     
  12. endlessskies58

    endlessskies58 Well-Known Member

    'the secret' is real and not real. if you see 'the secret' as a form of magical control over one's life then it is far from real. but, if you see 'the secret' as a mentality then it is VERY real.

    'the secret' is optimism.

    its amazing what a positive outlook on life can do for someone.
     
  13. BriGuy

    BriGuy Antiquities Friend

    Trust me when I say that people used to make FUN of me for my optimism... for many, many years... and it got me nowhere! Even BEFORE 'The Secret' came out... I was always positive about everything... every time something BAD would happen, I would smile, shrug it off and say 'that's okay... good is coming!' and concentrate on all the good things... and yet still ONLY bad shit keeps happening... over and over and over!

    Maybe I was a horrible person in my last life (if they exist) and this life is my karma... who knows... all I know is I tried for MANY, MANY years to be one of the most positive people around... and it got me NOWHERE... so I GIVE UP! Now all I see is the SHIT in my life...
     
  14. MeAndYou

    MeAndYou Well-Known Member

    Sorry i assumed it was more on the superficial side of things (Freudian slip on my part maybe?). Anyway i understand how you feel about wanting something more as far as human connection goes. I dont really know what to say ...ill be honest. I dont know if i have the experience..

    I do, though, know what it feels like to desire it. I try and understand that other people can not make me happy...only i can make me happy...but that doesnt exactly help or solve the problem. Life can be such a fucker.

    :arms:
     
  15. Maaso

    Maaso Well-Known Member

    Dude...you are not a bad person.

    I just masturbated while I choked myself with a pair of my sister's dirty panties....

    I'm a bad person.
     
  16. BriGuy

    BriGuy Antiquities Friend

    Nope... even you aren't a bad person... not just for that anyway!
     
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