And what are the differences between BPD in men and women? Anyways 1. I'm really self-destructive. I binge eat, i'm male but have been anorexic in the past, and I destroy myself with alcohol and do shit like burn myself with cigarettes, shoot myself with BB guns and beg others to punch me when I get loaded. 2. Everything is black and white. One compliment and feel like i'm socially acceptable and loved by the world. Then I go through intense bouts of anger and depression out of nowhere and feel like the entire world thinks i'm shit. People either like me or they don't. The world either finds me attractive or the world thinks i'm ugly. There's never a gray area. I'm really paranoid about my friends. I constantly wonder if they talk behind my back and I feel that they all think i'm worthless sometimes for no reason. 3. My identity changes from one day to the next. I put on different social masks, change my major and career aspirations constantly, and i'm sexually confused a lot. I don't know who I am from one day to the next. I don't know who I should be. I'm just a pathetic ball of clay. 4. I feel really close to people and romanticize acquaintances. When I feel slighted by them or feel that i'm not important enough in their world, I act out and hate their guts. I check my facebook constantly just to see if somebody has dropped me from their friends list and go into rage and depression when they do. I'm always afraid people will reject me. Even good friends that have no reason to reject me. 5. I contemplate suicide a lot. A lot of the times I make threats just to manipulate my mother. Sometimes it feels like i'm watching life pass me by and I just don't feel like going through with it. So I go out and get plastered and feel remorse for the embarrassing shit I do. It's an endless cycle of self-defeat and I can't take the emotional roller coaster anymore.