Am I a Borderline Personality?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Lost., Oct 15, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Lost.

    Lost. Well-Known Member

    And what are the differences between BPD in men and women?

    Anyways

    1. I'm really self-destructive. I binge eat, i'm male but have been anorexic in the past, and I destroy myself with alcohol and do shit like burn myself with cigarettes, shoot myself with BB guns and beg others to punch me when I get loaded.

    2. Everything is black and white. One compliment and feel like i'm socially acceptable and loved by the world. Then I go through intense bouts of anger and depression out of nowhere and feel like the entire world thinks i'm shit. People either like me or they don't. The world either finds me attractive or the world thinks i'm ugly. There's never a gray area. I'm really paranoid about my friends. I constantly wonder if they talk behind my back and I feel that they all think i'm worthless sometimes for no reason.

    3. My identity changes from one day to the next. I put on different social masks, change my major and career aspirations constantly, and i'm sexually confused a lot. I don't know who I am from one day to the next. I don't know who I should be. I'm just a pathetic ball of clay.

    4. I feel really close to people and romanticize acquaintances. When I feel slighted by them or feel that i'm not important enough in their world, I act out and hate their guts. I check my facebook constantly just to see if somebody has dropped me from their friends list and go into rage and depression when they do. I'm always afraid people will reject me. Even good friends that have no reason to reject me.

    5. I contemplate suicide a lot. A lot of the times I make threats just to manipulate my mother. Sometimes it feels like i'm watching life pass me by and I just don't feel like going through with it. So I go out and get plastered and feel remorse for the embarrassing shit I do. It's an endless cycle of self-defeat and I can't take the emotional roller coaster anymore.
     
  2. Lost.

    Lost. Well-Known Member

    Forgot how useless this forum was.
     
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Just saw this and sorry one cannot diagnosis these conditions without an in person interaction...what seems most important is that you are concerned about these symptoms...maybe talking to a therapist or pdoc would clarify for you what is going on...just my 2 cents...J
     
  4. Kina

    Kina Member

    I have BPD(with NPD traits, sounds lovely, doesn't it), and the first thing I do is advocate anyone AGAINST self-diagnosing. Although you may have borderline traits, it doesn't mean you actually have the disorder. Provided(devil's advocate here) that you DO, you are incredibly self-aware and that alone, is such a huge indicator of a healthy recovery. A lot of folks with it are not as self-aware.

    The thing with borderline traits, is that pretty much everyone on this planet experiences them, albeit to maybe more minor degree/less frequently. If I go and read about all the PDs out there, I would probably say I had them all.

    As far as diffs between men and women in BPD, it is noted though not solid, that men tend to act outward where as women tend to act inward. BPD in men frequently gets misdiagnosed as AvPD(Avoidant Personality Disorder) or even Antisocial Personality Disorder.

    This is an example of an inward or 'quiet' Borderline type of personality - http://www.aapel.org/bdp/BLborderquietUS.html

    Which, coincidentally, I am a woman and do not fit this description at all. But like I said, it's not a solid theory anyway.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 15, 2010
  5. Kina

    Kina Member

    From nih.gov-

    "A majority of the literature on borderline personality disorder (BPD) focuses on its occurrence in women or does not specifically assess for gender differences in clinical presentations. Some studies report that men with BPD may be more likely to be diagnosed with substance use disorders, as well as paranoid, passive-aggressive, narcissistic, sadistic, and antisocial personality disorders (PDs). Additionally, women with BPD appear to be more likely to report histories of adult physical and sexual abuse and to meet diagnostic criteria for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and eating disorders. The purpose of the present study was to further examine gender differences in BPD. Using baseline data from the Collaborative Longitudinal Personality Disorders Study (CLPS), men and women who met criteria for BPD were compared on current axis I and II disorders, BPD diagnostic criteria, childhood trauma histories, psychosocial functioning, temperament, and personality traits. Men with BPD were more likely to present with substance use disorders, and with schizotypal, narcissistic, and antisocial PDs, while women with BPD were more likely to present with PTSD, eating disorders, and the BPD criterion of identity disturbance. Generally speaking, women and men with BPD displayed more similarities than differences in clinical presentations. The differences that did emerge are consistent with those found in epidemiological studies of psychopathology and therefore do not appear unique to BPD. Additionally, many gender differences traditionally found in epidemiological samples did not emerge in BPD subjects. For example, no difference was found in rates of major depressive disorder, a condition that is more prevalent in females. Thus, BPD pathology may be a prevailing characterization that can attenuate usual gender-based distinctions."
     
  6. Kina

    Kina Member

    And here I am, adding to this again. Christ. It's one of those things that I don't talk about freely, because of the backlash, so when I do, it's like I have the verbal shits.


    No one, NO ONE, on the internet, is going to tell you that you have BPD or traits of it - If they do, do not heed a damn thing they say. They have no such qualifications to make that kind of determination. Even when I was diagnosed(14 years ago, as a teen), it took a year for my psychologist to make the DX. It's frequently misdiagnosed.

    Please be careful of the wrong information, should you choose to research it further. There are a lot of angry ex's partners of those with BPD(more often than not, those who GUESS their partners had BPD) who present opinion as fact.

    When I first started browsing the internet for BPD info like 10 years ago, I stumbled upon a forum that, I thought, was for people like me. Except it was for family/partners of those with BPD(aka, non borderlines - "nons"). I wound up getting myself banned from the site because I lost my mind at the anger, bitterness, the blanket statements, etc. I took it all personally, and that's a very easy thing for someone like myself to do.

    Of course, talk with a pdoc or mental health professional before you go around slapping a label on yourself. But if you're an analytical person, you'll wind up researching the shit out of it. If you need or want any particular information, feel free to ask me and I will point you AWAY from that stuff(it's very triggering) and in the right place for folks that want to learn more about BPD.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.