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Am I a coward?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by twometresplus, Sep 23, 2010.

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  1. twometresplus

    twometresplus New Member

    I've lost count of how many times I've thought about suicide but not had the balls to go through with it, things keep putting me off, like the upset it would cause my parents etc. Although I self harmed a cpl of days ago, something I hadn't don't for a few years. I'm s'possed to be getting married in December, but I've had a argument with my fiancé and I want to do it again. Tomorrow maybe, but I get put off by all the crap I'd leave behind for other people to deal with. How can I find the courage to carry it through?
    I'm a 38yr old man from Newcastle uk.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You have courage when yu stay and fight the illness the sadness the pain that is what courage is. You will harm others by your death you will pass only pain suffering endless heartache if that is what you call courage i don't get it. Courage is standing up against it all facing it and changing it that is courage. Take care of you so you can live a long life.
  3. twometresplus

    twometresplus New Member

    If only there was some sort of on/off switch or delete button, one click and everything is gone as if I was never there or never existed, that's what I long for, the easy way out, I guess I am a coward.
  4. DannyBoy

    DannyBoy Well-Known Member

    I'm in the same boat. I can't imagine my mother finding me dead. It's painful to think about, and the thought of it is even more distressing.
  5. stig

    stig Well-Known Member

    I don't believe you are a coward twometresplus. you are a person who is in immense pain and suffering. despite everything you are feeling you can still think about the damage you would do to friends and family! I would say that you are being a brave and thoughtfull man. thinking about others when you are in pain is strong. I tried to kill myself 3 years ago. my family didn't understand and asked if i wanted to die, I looked them in the eyes and told them that i was going to try again. I put my family through the ringer. I was a year younger than you my friend. I understand your pain, really i do. I still get the urge to end it all now and again. I found that I just have to stay alive for the next 5 minutes, the next 15 minutes, the next hour, day and so on. talk to people. talk to me if you wish. i'll help you in any way i can. stay strong, stay safe.
  6. Confused and Lost

    Confused and Lost Well-Known Member

    Even though you had an arguement with your fiance think what it would be like for her. How would you feeel if she commited suicide so close to your wedding. How would you manage to live without her? How would she manage to live without you? In the future you may have kids with her or you may have kids already i donmt know. But just live for her, for the future. Just please think about your family and fiance before you do anything. Take care :) x
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