I've lost count of how many times I've thought about suicide but not had the balls to go through with it, things keep putting me off, like the upset it would cause my parents etc. Although I self harmed a cpl of days ago, something I hadn't don't for a few years. I'm s'possed to be getting married in December, but I've had a argument with my fiancé and I want to do it again. Tomorrow maybe, but I get put off by all the crap I'd leave behind for other people to deal with. How can I find the courage to carry it through? I'm a 38yr old man from Newcastle uk.