Am I a monster for not feeling anything?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by milo001, Oct 18, 2014.

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  1. milo001

    milo001 Active Member

    So my sister told me my former friend(I had not been in contact with anyone other than my family since a few years ago) that my friend had died last year. She committed suicide last year. It's a shock to me and I still can't believe since I don't dare to confirm it with my former friend(who has become my sister friend instead). But based on the time I had spend with her in the past. It's possible. But the worst thing is other than shock I don't feel anything else. Have years of social isolation(I have severe social phobia) turn me into a monster or something? I hope it's not true but if it's true at least she won't be suffering anymore. Will her family feel sad? Because I think her mother really did not love her. And I think her family is the reason for her to commit suicide. I might be wrong though. Sorry for my English. I'm not a native speaker.

    For peoples who choose to commit suicide I don't think it's a coward thing to do. In fact I think it took a lot of courage to want to end your life. I have not done that personally but I won't be looking down at the peoples who had tried it.
     
  2. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member

    Hi Milo, First I want to say I don't see anything wrong with your spelling or the way you talk, I think you talk (and type) just as well or better than me.
    No You are not a monster
    The important thing is your feeling or what you are not feeling is a way for your mind to protect your self. Something has happened and it is terrible, you or your mind is unable to deal with it or process that information because it is to much for you to bear. If you didn't question what you have done or what happened then you may have a problem, but right now I don't believe you are a monster, you are just trying to survive. You are grieving the best way you can right now. Just don't give up
     
  3. milo001

    milo001 Active Member

    Thank you for replying. I guess I just want to be heard and understand.
     
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