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Am I a rotten son?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by cloud9, Feb 14, 2010.

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  1. cloud9

    cloud9 Well-Known Member

    Over the four years the I've been at university I feel like I've become a disobedient, selfish son. I used to look forward to my family's company or at the very least I didn't mind their company. Now when I visit home from university, just isolate myself from them. I either stay in my room with my door closed or go out with friends. I'm just angry at my parents.

    My dad is an emotionally abusive father. He's wrecked my mom through almost 30 years of marriage. I don't like it when he's around. My poor mother lacks confidence and self-esteem. All she does is clean the house, make food and sit in front of her beloved television. She never really takes an interest in what I'm studying at university, who my friends are at university. Actually neither of my parents really take an interest. I just really don't want to work on them. I don't take the time to spend any time with them. I just don't want to........but I'm beginning to feel like maybe I'm being a rotten son wanting to do so.

    Its Valentine's Day today.....I spoke with a friend the other day who said that she's going out with her family for dinner. She has a brother and together they bought their parents a champagne glass set which has a base that forms a heart. The glasses bases come together to form a heart. Both their parents names are engraved on the glasses, one on each glass. I think about this and wow. They have such a functional family unit. They care for each other enough to do something like this. My family we don't tend to celebrate any holidays, not even birthdays to any serious degree. Should I have wanted to do something with my family for Valentine's Day?

    I'm not going to lie, sometimes I just feel like getting on my feet as quickly as I can through education etc. and leaving my family. I'm more concerned about finding my own happiness....if that dream is even attainable. I feel like I can't do that staying home. If I stay home, I stay Muslim and I don't want to be a Muslim.

    I guess I'm asking.......am I being really selfish here. Where am I going wrong with my family? Should I want to spend time with them? Am I normal? Is it okay to think that I want to leave as soon as I can?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I think wanting to leave home at your age is quite normal. cutting the ties of family moving out making a life for yourself all healthy moves. Time will bring you back to them after you have had your freedom Just know it is normal okay don't be too hard on yourself
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You're not a rotten son, and it's okay to want to leave as soon as you can. I did the same thing, and for a long time I avoided almost all family functions. Parts of my family are pretty dysfunctional, and so I wanted to try and avoid that as much as I could.
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    It sounds like you get along with your mom better.. Why not take her to a movie, or a coffee, Etc, Etc..Just get her out of the house and spend the day with her..It sounds like she needs a change of routine..I agree with the OP that once you are able to get out on your own that your life will take on new meaning.. Stay Strong.. Your on the right track..Soon you will be making your own way..
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