Am i a Sufferer?

Discussion in 'Domestic Abuse' started by -GirlxNextxDoor-, Nov 21, 2007.

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  1. -GirlxNextxDoor-

    -GirlxNextxDoor- Well-Known Member

    :unsure: i was thinking something... :unsure:
    i think i might suffer domestic abuse .... i am not sure....
    i mean when my dad shouts at me i thought it was as i was a bad child...
    but..i am always behaving and i am getting good grades but he stills yells at me and talks about me hatefully to my mother...and i don't know why...
    he picks on small things, like for example grounded me for a week as i left two cups in my room, told me i was a marde cow as i cried when i was depressed, and when i try to explain how well i am doing in school he changes the topic to how i haven't done my jobs yet around the house even if i have only been back for half and hour and busy having dinner :mellow:
    he rarely hits me, mostly its just verbal abuse but sometimes he does throw random objects or drags me across the floor to show me "the cups" for example. or once he yelled and shouted at me as he thought i went on dating sites when actually it was pop ups :dry: i tried to get out the house to see my grandad who lived down the road, he chased after me, pushed me to the floor making me bang my head and cut my arm, he then dragged me across the concrete floor back into the house. shouting at me more, throwing a random object at me and then he sent me to my room. i was so scared....does this count as domestic abuse? or maybe verbal? i am so confused! is it my fault? what am i doing wrong? why does he attitude change sometimes when he is laughing but still puts me down on things and sometimes he goes full out yelling
    :unsure: :unsure: :depressed :confused: :confused:
  2. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    Its abuse, for sure. He shouldnt be doing that to you. Apart from you mother, does anybody else know about this outside the house? what does your mother think about this... or does she just ignore it? My own dad was like that at one stage. it wasnt pretty, but I was a lot younger and didn't do anything about it. You're older than I was, so you are plenty old enough to stand up for yourself.. stay safe. :hug:

  3. gitana

    gitana SF Friend & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    You are not a sufferer.. But speaking from my family experience and what I have learned.. it is domestic abuse.. verbal, emotional, psychological, and if he dragged you around, physical.. or even touch you sweetie.. just because you leave a couple cups, you don't deserve being treated like this at all.. And throwing objects at you, is not okay.. hon..

    Not being hit, rarely: as you stated.. it is domestic violence.
    What I experenced, I didnt know either, call a spade a spade.. something like that. the reality is sweetie.. what you are experiencing is definitely d.v. there is also a thing called subtle abuse, I didn't know about either.. hon.. or recognize it as being d.v. but it it is.. Whether or not he hits you or drags you
    and hurts you in any way is also physical abuse.. across the concrete floor and afraid that you feel the need to run to safety to your granddad.. he dosen't want anyone to know.. it is a hidden secret possibly..

    You are not doing anything worng and know this sweetie.. to be treated like this is never anybody's fault!Ever!| You do not need to be treated like this.. Who knows why hs like this?

    Do you have a safe place or somebody you can talk to? Get some help or support? I am here if you need to talk further to anybody about this.. Feel free to PM me if you like.. Also, keep this in mind, that most abusers, when seeking help, don't want the secret to let out.. however; there is more about D.V, then ever.. and help.. Alot of my friend thought I grew up in a normal wonderul home and wanted to be around my parients.. however; later when they found out the truth and how my parents were.. they couldn't believe it.. at all.. lot of people don't and I have been in other situations.. only recognizing this all as domestic violence and the subtle abuse is the worse..
    that many don't understand it as being abusive either.. one can say is one is being phycial and hit, yeah , that is abuse.. however, the verbal, emothional, mental, psychological, etc hard for most people to know that it is abuse.. Seek help if you can.. I attend a DV support group every week.. and it had helped me in this area alot as well ss volunteeing and helping other people in domestic violence.. Take care and stay safe.. Just remember it is never you fault ever.. you have done nothing and nobody has to deserve this..

    Like I said, feel free to PM me if you like.. okay?


  4. kpearson

    kpearson New Member

    :hug: Like my father! He never hits me; he just yells at me a lot, so if I told anyone, he would say I'm just overreacting. Actually, you're father seems worse than mine. Regardless of whether what he's doing "domestic abuse," it's something you don't like and that you thus should be avoiding.

    I've been trying to be as humble as possible, and it works quite well. If you stop fighting him and instead just admit that you're are a stupid, lazy, bad girl (even though you aren't) and apologize for everything and act very timid, he will feel start feeling like he's kicking a defenseless baby.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 18, 2007
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