Am I a weird guy not wanting sex too casual?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by JohnsonT, Mar 3, 2014.

  1. JohnsonT

    JohnsonT Member

    I just wondering anyone have the same kind of mind like me. Once I got to know this girl very well, small dates for 9 month, not officially in relationship. One day we stay overnight in a room at a friends party, from hand to waist then very intimate.

    We cuddle. then she wanted sex, I said I not ready. In my mind I didnt felt that trust and I don't want my first to be so casual... so we just cuddled... I thought she will accept me and so I confessed to her few days later and she rejected me with maybe. I tried to stay on but she went to the Hot and cold character, few months later I gave up.

    I am not religious or conservative, I just think that sex shouldn't be causal without commitment. It should be a special moment between a couple.. lol is this weird for a guy mindset?
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 3, 2014
  2. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    It is not weird for a mind set, but it may not be what is the most common. As in anything , but particularly something intimate like sex, the reason is probably not what she would remember , but just what she perceived as rejection. The she is going to be the one with the trust issues after she felt like you rejected her and that might explain the end result. Also , saying what you think about casual sex to her may make her feel like you were judging her and if she simply was not interested in a committed relationship then your views on casual sex are not going to change her mind.
  3. JohnsonT

    JohnsonT Member

    oh that part of telling her, I just say I am not ready. I didnt say those other thing.
  4. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I don't think it's weird at all. It's refreshing because I don't know many guys who feel that way about sex. If she rejects you, then she's not the right person for you. I'm sure you'll find someone who has similar feelings on the subject, and she will understand where you're coming from and respect that you want to wait.
  5. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Wow! a decent guy!
    I take my hat off to you, stick with your principals and don't let anyone brow beat you into doing anything you don't feel ready for or uncomfortable with.
    I had a boyfriend years ago who shook my hand at the door for 3 months lol.
    I was actually rather pleased, cos no one like an octopus.
    I ended up engaged to him and was due to marry when he unfortunately got killed in a car accident.
    I did once ask him why he had shook my hand for 3 months and he replied "I didn't want to come on too strong and lose you".
    A thoroughly nice guy.
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Nothing weird about that at all, I need a guy like you haha, Honestly though that is the type of guy girls dream to have. You weren't ready, you wanted it to be more special...nothing at all wrong with that, I also think she should have respected your decision :) Good luck and stick to your guns x
  7. Stacey84

    Stacey84 Well-Known Member

    I'm the same, Not really interested in sex that much and I'm looking for the company from another person more than anything else because this is what I value the most.
  8. JohnsonT

    JohnsonT Member

    thanks guys. now on I can assure myself, anyway Terry that line " I didn't want to come on too strong and lose you" its really true.

    Dont get me wrong, I still a man with the sexual urge but when I meet a girl I really like, those urge just tone down and I just want to share special moments with her in life. I guess I'm different
  9. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Good for you for wanting sex to be special and not too casual! When the right time and person come along, it will still be special to you because you have chosen to keep it special. :)
  10. Cat of Spades

    Cat of Spades Well-Known Member

    If you did not want sex then you did not want sex.

    Each person's sexuality is different... it is not wrong for you to turn down a woman you thought was not for you.