...Am I asking too much?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by AshamedtoTell, Sep 11, 2006.

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  1. Does anyone think...

    it's alot to ask?...

    I've got a really bad insecurity...it's with cheating. I have a girlfriend...and I love her, so much, and I trust her more then anyone. She means the world to me...

    It's just...I think alot about cheating. I know if it ever happened to me, I'd be devastated...I put alot of energy into my relationship...I know Im nothing special, and I'm a very weak person.

    I don't look good...I'm not strong, or attractive...I feel pathetic. Why would someone want to be with me?...

    I guess other guys, alot of them are all exactly the same. WHen it comes to girls, it's just all physical stuff. They can't 'help' but look at other girls...even in a relationship.

    I used to feel kinda strongly against this...I decided I wanted to be different. The way that it is now...I just feel that in a relationship, my heart should be exclusively with the person. And it is...I don't look at other girls, I try not to talk to other girls (as in getting in a deeper conversation). I try and make myself dedicated to my relationship.

    But what if my girlfriend talks to other guys?

    Guys are all pretty much the same. We'll say anything and everything to lure the girl. Ranging from hardly trying to really trying, I think it's something we've all used to our advantage. I just feel really stupid.

    It's just, I get that feeling, you know, when that special someone is getting along 'especially well' with someone else. I just feel so numb...I want to die. So bad...

    I really feel like I'm not good enough. Not at all. If a person was content...they wouldn't need someone else, right? It just crushes me...every time...I want to just die...

    I feel betrayed, hurt, and alone...when I really am not being betrayed or anything. But I just feel way too insecure...

    I've asked her before...though I never got into detail on how much it huruts me. I just asked her...nicely, just out of the blue, to just maybe be careful...

    I am protective...I am a little jealous...possesive...I just don't want any other guy getting close to her. It's so nerve racking. I can't stand it...I just...

    I know I can't ask anything else of her. I really, really can't. That's just too much...

    It's not even her fault...I just never want to lose her. It's killing me...if I hadn't made a promise not to hurt myself with her (we made a promise together) then I'd probably be pretty messed up.

    I'm sorry...
  2. I just need some opinions from a few females. Nothing too big...I just need a little imput.
  3. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    I understand you dont want to lose her, and you feel nervouse about her being around other guys, but you've gotta remember that trust and love go hand in hand, without out trust love can't be built. You need to be able to trust and lover her enough to allow her to live a life, sometimes everything can not be abpout your other half, you need a life away from them sometimes. Women can find a male being possesive very 'sufficating' and eventually will want out of the relationship, you obviously dont want to lose her but if you don trust you WILL, so give her some trust because the way your going right now will eventually do her head in.

    take care

    vikki x
  4. Hi,
    My boyfriend and I have been together for 17 years now, since high school.
    Throughout the years, there has been posessiveness and jealousy, at different times and for different reasons. I can't really blame him, I used to work closely with mechanics and repair garages, and there are men everywhere in those places. They all would have "dirty" posters in their work areas, and at times, I was mildly harrassed. I didn't let it get to me, after all, I was working in the wrong field if sexual harrassment bothered me that much.
    I just wanted to say that I have always done the right thing with him. I have been honest, faithful, and where I am supposed to be at any given time. I have done my best to prove to him that I would NEVER be unfaithful.
    That being said, if your girl is reassuring and honest, and you cannot prove that she has done or is doing anything "wrong", you have to try to give her the benefit of the doubt. Trust can be earned if it has been lost, but there is also innocence until proven guilty. If she has never done anything to cause your doubts, then you have to give her some space, trust her feelings for you, and watch close for any inconsistencies that may lead you to believe something isn't right. I ALWAYS trust my gut instincts.
    Other than that, you need to back off your insecurities in your self, when you feel worthy, others will see it and respond to it.
    Hope this helps.
    Peace, Love, and Prayers,
  5. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    There shouldn't be a problem with your gf just talking to other guys. There's a saying that goes: "Love will die if held too tightly, love will fly if held too lightly." Try to find that middle ground - not too tight and not too loose - and it might work out alright. Practice the Golden Rule: don't do unto her what you wouldn't want done to you.

    all the best for you,

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