First of all, sorry for my absence if anyone noticed, I just knew in my current state I would have struggled giving objective advice, I regret that a lot. I have been stood on the very edge, peering into the precipice, for a few weeks now, it's gotten steadily worse. I'd said my goodbyes, decided on a date, and gathered what I needed. Then, randomly, I went back to see friends for a birthday. It was impulsive, but I decided to do it. I met a girl I had spoken to the previous few weeks for the majority of the night. She's sweet, beautiful, kind but a little innocent. We kissed just before parting ways, not in the usual crass way, but genuinely pleasant, soft, pretty much perfect. I knew this was the beginning. Since then, we've been in constant contact, I have initially arranged to meet her again this weekend. My mood was good for the last couple of days, in the first time in years (still low, but much better and hopeful). According to her friend, she has been just as gleeful (in a churlish, childlike way). I actually smiled non stop when she said she missed me! The advice I need is complicated. I'm still very suicidal, still constantly in pain. She lessens this, I've literally never felt this way about a person (I've had enough relationships to comment!). Am I being selfish exposing her to this? She's an adult (23), but still relatively innocent. All my previous relationships broke down because, and I quote, 'You're just so depressed, it's too intense, I can't cope, no one could!' (last girlfriend!) Is it fair to put her through me, through my nightmare of a life as it currently stands? I know it's jumping the gun, because we're not technically involved yet. But I guess I want honest advice. If I'm still suicidal, should I even entertain such an idea of beginning a relationship like this with a sweet person who could struggle with my depression (even if I do feel better around her)? Please be honest, irrespective of whether it's blunt, upsetting, aggressive, angry, happy, annoyed etc. I would like genuine, honest advice, would you do it in my position! Sorry, long post, as per usual!