So this is something that I am thinking about on my own. Last night I came to a realization that I am just too weak and impatient to actually succeed at fixing what I feel is missing from my life. My usual thought process is that I am just going to gain these skills when they are not going to be useful to me anymore so why bother? So in my insomnia driven late night depression I wrote the following status on my facebook page. I love it when I come to a realization. The realization that I need to patiently complete the final task of keeping the kitty happy for what is left of her life. Once that is done I can finally quit. No reason to waste time on learning something that I should have learned during my youth. I wonder if it is too cryptic so I figured I would ask you guys if you know what I mean. Because right now everyone seems to think that I am going to get a kitten. I am not sure how that happened, but that is not the message that I am trying to get by here. This is the closest thing to a cry for help that I am willing to make. If I just bluntly put what I actually meant in there it voids the point. Because then people can keyword scan and freak out which is not what I want. I guess that is just the curse of getting older. /Begin Rant feel free to stop reading\ I mean really, is it because I am no longer some annoying teenager that everything I say that has a negative and/or offensive tone just get ignored? I guess maybe I am being too cryptic, but I don't care. I mean why can't people pull out of my posts that I am saying really bad things that should be raising red flags. Maybe it is the whole cryptic thing. However, I really think it is an age thing. I guess it just goes to show the older you get the less tragic things are. The older you get they are your choices and what can you do about them? The older you get there is no reason to not like someone for living their life. After all, they are old enough to know that their life is in their control. It just annoys the crap out of me that is all. Then everyone tells me that I am so distant and never open up. I guess that if I am making them think well that is just me shutting them out. I am very much so telling them exactly what I am thinking and feeling. However, since I am not using simple keywords so they do not have to think I am clearly just shutting them out. I know that when it comes to my siblings relationship with each other. They would have no problem communicating in such a cryptic way. However, the loser outcast in the family cannot be understood and should stop wasting their time. Despite the fact that they go on and on about how much they miss me in their life. Not that there is much I can do about it. I guess when things come to pass I will refer them back to all these little posts that I make to them on facebook. I guess hindsight is 20/20, then again I guess I am also wrong for them wanting to put forth actual effort in their quest to feel good about themselves. After all, they are the ones who feel bad because they have a crappy relationship with a family member and there is no reason for that other than the did not give a crap that I was there to begin with. /End Rant Thanks for Reading\ Quick note, on facebook my avatar is the same as on this site.