My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and a half. Things were great between us up until just a couple of months ago. We had even been talking about getting married. And then my depression started creeping up on me again. Instead of realizing that I was unhappy in general, he assumed I was unhappy with him. He got paranoid and assumed I was cheating on him. He started reading my e-mail and harassing me about who I was talking to every time I answered a call or sent a text message. That went on for several weeks. Since then, we've talked about things and he's snapped out of the weird jealous phase, but I still don't feel like things are the same between us. He's been especially nice to me the last few weeks, and he seems like he's so happy with me. It would break his heart if I left him. And it would break my heart too, but...I just don't feel like we're in love anymore. He's a good friend, but...I don't know. I used to get excited about the idea of us getting married, but now the idea just makes me panicky and nauseous. He's so fucking arrogant and elitist I can't stand it sometimes. He says he thinks I'm smart. But every time I express an opinion that differs from his, he just says "okay" with that stupid smirk on his face as though it's not worth his time to explain to me why I'm wrong because I'm too dumb to even understand how dumb I am. UGH. Maybe things aren't so bad between us, and it's just my depression that's pushing me away from him. Or maybe I'm only staying with him because I'm afraid of being alone. He's my best friend. I don't really have any other good friends anymore, at least nowhere near where I live, and if I were stuck by myself I'm almost certain I would go through with my plan to kill myself. Is staying with him making things better or worse?