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Am I better off single?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by beautifuloblivion, Jul 27, 2009.

  1. beautifuloblivion

    beautifuloblivion Well-Known Member

    My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and a half. Things were great between us up until just a couple of months ago. We had even been talking about getting married. And then my depression started creeping up on me again. Instead of realizing that I was unhappy in general, he assumed I was unhappy with him. He got paranoid and assumed I was cheating on him. He started reading my e-mail and harassing me about who I was talking to every time I answered a call or sent a text message.

    That went on for several weeks. Since then, we've talked about things and he's snapped out of the weird jealous phase, but I still don't feel like things are the same between us. He's been especially nice to me the last few weeks, and he seems like he's so happy with me. It would break his heart if I left him. And it would break my heart too, but...I just don't feel like we're in love anymore. He's a good friend, but...I don't know. I used to get excited about the idea of us getting married, but now the idea just makes me panicky and nauseous.

    He's so fucking arrogant and elitist I can't stand it sometimes. He says he thinks I'm smart. But every time I express an opinion that differs from his, he just says "okay" with that stupid smirk on his face as though it's not worth his time to explain to me why I'm wrong because I'm too dumb to even understand how dumb I am. UGH.

    Maybe things aren't so bad between us, and it's just my depression that's pushing me away from him. Or maybe I'm only staying with him because I'm afraid of being alone. He's my best friend. I don't really have any other good friends anymore, at least nowhere near where I live, and if I were stuck by myself I'm almost certain I would go through with my plan to kill myself.

    Is staying with him making things better or worse?
  2. Soft Serve

    Soft Serve Well-Known Member

    I'm not a relationship expert (and will never claim to be) but maybe you just need a break from him? Like a week or so. Maybe you should go on a trip with a friend somewhere out of town and when your on your way back see if your excited to see him because you missed him, or if you enjoyed your time away from him and it's more like an "UGH now I have to deal with him again" feeling. I've tried this before and it brought us back together for a few days. Gave us time to think. We broke up 2 weeks later. Anyway everything was a lot more mellow... Hope I helped. ♥
  3. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    i agree with Soft Serve, personally.
    i've been through things like this before, taking a break really does take a load off of things and gives you the time you need to think.
    tell him that you want to go on a little "weekend getaway" type thing, say that it would make you happy or something. just take the weekend to think about yourself and to get your mind off of things, see how you feel when you go back to him.

    chances are, if you're unhappy that you have to return to him, then you two probably won't work out. if you're super happy and excited to see him, then maybe this was the break that you need.

    i hope everything goes well for you.