Am I condemned to loneliness? - I appreciate your time.

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by BPT, Aug 18, 2010.

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  1. BPT

    BPT Guest

    99% of the people in my life, hurt me somehow...and believe me, I know people from all shape and sizes, and most of them I know since I was a kid. Even the ones that I thought that would never disappoint me did it, so I entered in a hard isolation period.

    When I meant hurt and disappointment, I was referring to all kinds of abuses, cheating ex's, friends that teased my ex's on my back... well, those are things that I just want to leave in the past.

    When I came to this forum, I was hoping that I could help someone according to my life experience. I consider myself a good friend, I always enjoy making people laugh and I do this for them that I couldn't do for myself.
    It's heartbreaking when you know someone on the internet, you both share your stories and she/he ends up disappearing in the middle of the conversation without even saying goodbye. Or when you make an effort to talk to people you maintain a contact with, and they simply ignore you or forget about you as time goes by.

    Well, I understand. Maybe internet it's not the best place to start friendships, or those people are hurt like me and it's hard for them to trust someone. It was also heartbreaking when some people here are afraid to be triggered when someone asks for help. I don't like judge anyone, but what do you except seeing on a suicide forum? Does any one here ignore you when you are needy too? I hate selfishness...and that's one of the motives that make me leave the forum.

    Friendship and union are important to me... It's good to have someone that cares for you genuinely; someone that shares both happiness and sadness. I don't believe my standards are high, since I don't ask for too much.

    I took this year to reconsider if this life it's worth it. It's hard when you grow up, believing that things will be different and they end up getting worse. Having to deal with those kind of problems - abuses, loneliness, fake people... - are something that you don't learn in school.

    I appreciate your comments. Maybe you fit in my story... maybe I'm too naive...I don't know. I guess it's my dream since I was born - to meet someone that really cares.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YOu sound like me i see friendship so differently from others i also have had friends well they said theywere up and leave on the internet forums just leave after year of talking. perhaps a poem i posted here will explain to you as it was done to me different types of friends we have. I hope you continue to talk here just don't get too attached okay i learn that as well just want to let you know i understand this disappointment you have in people i truly do
  3. BPT

    BPT Guest

    Thanks so much for your answer. I would love talking to, but I understand. Remember when someone sent you a pm? It was me :)

    Where is the poem? I cannot find it
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    should be under poetry different kinds of friends storm brewinghere i will try to transfer it to you by cut and paist kay take care
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    eason Season LIfetime
    “Reason, Season, Lifetime”

    people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
    When you figure out which one it is,
    you will know what to do for each person.

    When someone is in your life for a REASON,
    it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
    They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
    to provide you with guidance and support;
    to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
    They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
    They are there for the reason you need them to be.

    Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
    this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
    Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
    Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
    What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
    The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

    Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
    because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
    They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
    They may teach you something you have never done.
    They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
    Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

    LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
    things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
    Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
    and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
    It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

    Thank you for being a part of my life,
    whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

    Aleksandra Lachut

    hope this helps okay take care
  6. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    You are cared for, and it is ok to be needy we all need someone to be our rock when we feel ourselves slipping into the dark hole of despair and loneliness. I would like to be your friend and help you how I can, but you need to remember that we are all just humans like yourself. We make mistakes, have lives, and have problems. I personally know I am needy and my faith in Yahweh covers my needs. I like to discuss things with people and confess them to them too if it helps to get it out to a lending ear, but I know that they are like me, and I do not get disappointed when they truly do not know how to help. There are many people on here that can offer that much to you [lending ears], but if you demand more than they can offer that really isn't fair. I am no longer suffering from suicide or any mental illness as I once was, but if I was I would have told you straight up that I could not help you. Who can help others that cannot even help themselves? Like I said I am not longer suffering in those specific ways, so I can offer you help, but I can only do so with what I know to work, and share how it worked for me. I am religious and if that bothers you there really isn't more that I can say. Here is my e-mail Blessings..
  7. BTN

    BTN Guest

    Thanks so much for your answers. The poem is beautiful btw

    I don't consider myself suicidal, despite the problems I've had in life.
    The most heartbreaking thing is when you put an effort into a friendship and things end like that.
    When I'm a friend of someone, my only interest is that person to be happy. If walking away is the best option, I respect that. I just don't get it why people say there are lonely and they need someone, and they up treating others like crap.

    When you treat someone nice, that person treats you like crap, because he/she takes you for granted.
    When you treat them like crap, they always come back for more, because their little consciences can't accept being rejected in this world.

    I've many problems, but I want to leave them in the past. True friendship is the biggest treasure that I can have, but I seam that I cannot find it.
  8. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    It's hard to understand other people. For example I don't make friends with people, so people think I'm cold, selfish, uncaring etc. but most of my friends had problems I couldn't help them with. People need better friends than me, they just need to realise this.

    So let's say I'm not your friend, I'm not violet's friend either, but we've all read this poem, we've all appreciated it, we've all gained something from coming together on this post. And although we won't be friends in the future, for this brief moment we've shared something and gained something. That has to be a good thing.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 19, 2010
  9. special_needs

    special_needs Well-Known Member

    You expect too much from people. They all make mistakes. We all make mistakes. Even if you think you don't, you do. So do them.

    Thats just my opinion... I used to thought exactly what you think now. But now i see its just not worth it. Try to ignore those things most of the time and it will be better for you and for you relations.
  10. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I feel the exact same way, I treat people with respect, I listen to them, I try my hardest (although I'm not perfect) but I rarely get a friend like me, I get friends that take you for granted, that take all that you have and when they are better go away and never help you when you're in need....

    I'm tired of the bullshit, drama and bitching...talking behind people's back etc...that's why I don't even bother making friends anymore...if those are the people I attract why bother...I mean I would never use someone, I'm always honest and how come I don't find people who are the same? I go by the rule of do to others what you would like others to do...

    I'm not big on asking for things either...I accept the person just the way she/he is...I try not to judge and I listen....
  11. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    I know what you mean. I just understand that I dunno, not many people are people-people like I am. I think it's understandable tho' considering this is SF :dunno:?
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 21, 2010
  12. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    when one person leaves i am told there is room then for another person to come in to share their thoughts to learn more
    i don't attach now like i did before
    i accept people for what is in front of me
    then when it is time for them to leave it is time
    don't connect just be grateful you came in contact for awhile with someone new
    a different story of interest to listen to

    sorry if i don't make sense tired tonight thats all.
  13. yous

    yous Well-Known Member

    I can relate and like you said we don't learn this social etiquette in school. We should.

    As far as I'm concerned, making friends is on your own type of thing. Everyone meets somebody and that somebody either ruins your life, has no effect, or helps. 99% of the people I meet never help, never are nice, always are jerks or self-absorbed.....the names go on and on. What I learned is, people have issues, different lives and relationships are hard because it takes sacrifice and time.

    It takes effort to make a union in a relationship for it to work. I may like science fiction but you like horror. We have trouble coming together to talk about. So we drop one another. This is a simple example. We live in a world filled and sometimes I think trained with rejection. It comes natural to us. We read each other like a harddrive, head to toe, and if we don't see what we like, we drop the person without even taking the time to know the person.

    It's a sad world we live in. But we live in it full of false advertisements and judgment. Humans think too much. I wish we could all be simple or simplified, but there is just so many of us in the world that makes the individual replaceable.
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