I'm not exactly sure what this thread is but it's just me wanting to get the opinion of like minded individuals. Suicide. The aftermath... I know it's common for individuals to think about "What happens after I kill myself?". It's gonna be difficult to explain exactly what I'm thinking but I'll try my best lol. I've been thinking about it ever since I found out that one of my friends on steam killed themselves. This was 4 years ago and I didn't really know him but my friends did and I saw the effect it had. I've been struggling with MDD for a long time now and suicidal thoughts have plagued my mind for as long as I can think. I will be honest and I've attempted twice and I've had 3 near deaths from reckless pill popping. One of those happened just 2 days ago but I started thinking, what if I actually one day ended up getting the courage to actually off myself successfully because my first 2 attempts wasn't be all and end all, I left leg room to survive if 'fate' deemed it necessary. How will my death effect those around me and connected to me? It's weird because I'm asking in the sense of a sort of fantasy. I don't know why but I used to 'enjoy' creating situations that emotionally hurt me so I would sabotage relationships creating fights etc. I don't obsessively think about the aftermath all the time but it comes around now and then. Imagining yourself dead and fantasizing how people would feel, who would miss you, who you would hurt, who would be unaffected, those who take your death as motivation to do great things, those who use your death to destroy their own lives. I'm not sure what exactly this post is but I would like your opinions if you guys have thought of the aftermath and what that looks like to you.