Am I damaging the people around me?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by reprehendiballs, Nov 14, 2010.

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  1. I am currently awaiting assessment for treatment by the local mental health team for depression and anxiety. Currently I am swinging back and forth in mood, never really a good mood, but sometimes coping OK. I may have one or two days a week in which I can function mentally on some level. The rest of the time I fall into near catatonic states, often freezing or simply going to bed and trying to sleep it off. When my family find me frozen on the spot they are either concerned or, in the case of my kids, worried. Several incidents of self harming have also left them very worried about me.

    I have also suffered several days of complete loss of appetite, going for long periods without food or water, although my wife realised what was happening and has started watching me more carefully and forces me to eat/drink if I have gone for more than a day or so without anything.

    It is clearly affecting my eighteen year old son who is almost never out of his room and barely talks to me any more. My wife also suffers from depression, although she has received treatment (CBT) and currently seems to cope reasonably well, however she is not well placed to cope with my mood swings and works full time anyway.

    I am worried that my condition is beginning to adversely (and permanently) affect my family, and I wonder if it would not be better for me to leave the household, at least until I have received some form of successful treatment. The assessment is estimated to be 3-4 months away and I am getting worse and worse. Obviously I have considered suicide, but I am holding off that until after I see what the mental health team has to say. If they can't sort me out then there really is no point at all in going on anyway, but I am clinging to the hope they can help. In the meantime I don't want to completely destroy my home whilst I am waiting.
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    how come the wait is so long? can you stress how suicidal you are feeling and maybe get moved up the waiting list? you need help now. there is no reason to keep suffering.

    i worry if you leave your family to stay elsewhere you will be further isolating yourself which is a common thing to do with depression. you might sink even further without the support of your family. can you sit down with your son and explain that you are ill at the moment and waiting for some treatment.

    thinking of you, and sending a big hug, if okay.
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I would have said the same thing...good advice
    please keep reaching out for support
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