Am I destined to kill myself

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by wastedmylife, Sep 1, 2008.

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  1. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    My mother never wanted me, she told me when I was younger she tried to kill me when I was inside her

    I had a horrifically traumatic childhood and now at 28 I am full of so much physical and mental pain it is unbearable

    I feel no hope for life anymore, I am not sure how I am going to die but I just dont see any future for me

    Does someone have to grow up in a loving environment in order to be really successful or be happy at life?
  2. I grew up in a loving household, but our lives were in a constant state of dispair.
    I think its more to do with growing up feeling unwanted or un-loved and losing ones faith in humanity.
    I'm only 21, and yet i see no future, nothing but getting up everyday to go to work a face the scum of the earth.

    In the end u just need to ask urself in a lucid state, is my life worth living if i have to put up with this @#$& every day... If the answere is no, u should look into chloroform, im off to buy the acetone right now ^_^

    Aparantly, if ur feeling down, getting a partner helps sometimes...
  3. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    haha I agree but guess what, I had a horrific injury to my testicle last month and now I barely have a sex drive anymore

    What an unbearable nightmare my life is, you really cant make this stuff up

    no one on the planet can relate to what I have gone through

    There is no one on the planet who needed a girl more then me and look what happened


    ANd the sad thing is I dont have the desire to kill myself
  4. Im not going to start a childish pi##ing contest,

    But i understand what u mean in regards to the comment about no-one ever knowing or understanding or going through what u have.

    i guess im just having a downer, but im not gunna waste the 15 bucks i spent on acetone and ice (frozen water) tho >.<

    if your not into kiliing yourself at the moment i suppose u answered your own thread. But ur after support,

    (Its odd trying to think of encouraging things to say about life when u dont have any)... eat some chocolate...

    there will always be people out there who can make u smile and feel good, its hard and they are rare, but thats what i've been holding onto since i started primary... and theres that small glint of hope, that one day things will get easier.

    Ah, the wonders of false hope
  5. LightInTheDarkestNight

    LightInTheDarkestNight Well-Known Member

    wasted my life why don't you get on Hormone replacement therapy that will be sure to boost your sex drive. testosterone injections arent a big deal just tell your doc about you total lack of sex drive.

    You'll easily be able to get a girl I'm sure if it bro just keep your head up.

    I'm sure lots of people have lost one of their testicles it isn't that uncommon..

    Your sex drive problem definetly is fixable..

    I know what no one in the world being able to relate to my problems is like.. I bet there isn't 1 person in this world who's had the all of the phyiscal problems I've had in the past few months.

    I would have rather lost a leg then feel the way I do physically It's unbearable. Try to be grateful for what you do have, I'm being a hippocrit myself as I can't avoid my irritation it's always something I feel. Don't take this the wrong way but I'd do just about anything to be in your shoes vs mine. I'd rather be wheelchair confined then feel the permanent physical irratation and pain, sure it could go away but it isn't very likely..
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 2, 2008
  6. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    well you do sound like you have it worse then me, I guess eveyrone is different, I do have other physical problems besides the testicle thing but it isnt something that effects me 24/7, though I do have something wrong with my head that is 24/7 but that isnt really painful

    and what does your irritation and pain feel like where is it coming from, do the doctors say there is anything you can do about it
  7. Bob26003

    Bob26003 Well-Known Member

    destined for suicide.......... destined for pain............

    felt that way for about 4 years now.
  8. LightInTheDarkestNight

    LightInTheDarkestNight Well-Known Member

    sorry I didn't mean to seem like I was demeaning your problem(s) it's just I was and am just so fed up with my situation..No one knows exactly how ones problems effect each person

    . to be honest I do feel jealous of just about everyone on this earht.. including people who are upset emotionally while emotional pain can have just as deep of results as physical pain(suicidal thoughts etc) imo it's a frustration of ones life situaiton relationship wise(havinig no one they love and care about, or many friends), family problmens, where they're at in their career wise, being anxious in social situations, not liking ones looks, depression etc...

    I do have all of these charicteristics mental probs.. and they're exasberated by my physical irritation. my looks have deteriorated over the past 3 months as well.. red facial skin, acne,one sided facial puffiness, jaw loss, more damaged peeling lips, palpitations, pigement loss on my face... and the weird sensations that I feel where there is puffiness and around my lower lip just top thigns off.

    I haven't worked out due to the physical weakness I feel from autoimmune or whatever condition(s) i have..

    They think it might be something autoimmune I don't really know it's all very confusing. I do have white patches on my face loss of pigemnt(pallor) and that's a sign of something autoimmune..
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 5, 2008
  9. patacake

    patacake Well-Known Member

    Hey hun

    Everyone problems and pain are relevant to them , so urs are both significant and important, of course a stable happy homelife helps totally too but also life can continue being cruel , a person can feel worthless and pointless . I ve seen u a couple of times in chat , try staying a little longer and maybe trying to talk things through , i'd welcome a talk with u

    meanwhile take care


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