Am I developing into a alcaholic ?

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by wolf, Dec 11, 2006.

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  1. wolf

    wolf Active Member

    Am I developing into a alcoholic?

    I took some advice from my oldest friends mom. She mad me feel like a lesser person and tried to follow her advice . But now I started to notice I am developing a drinking problem .

    His mother said I must not take anti depressant tables cause it would make me crazy and I would never be able to stop taking them and it would stuff me up?
    She claimed all I need to do is stop the tablets and go to church and all my problems would go away.

    I started going out again and socializing and seen some of my friends again. But the problem is I try hide the depression and start drinking like a fish until the state where I cannot talk walk or make sense . Example. This weekend me and a mate started drinking at like 1pm. We went to his farm and carried on drinking t about 3am . I ended up going to a cocktail bar with some friends . I was in such a bad state they thought I was on drugs.
    I kind of remember the night. But they said I did not even recognize them or the people around me. I came to a near fight for some reason I cannot remember.

    I left and went home waking up feeling like I never felt before.

    This has happened 4 weekends in a row now. I drink till I cannot be reasoned with.
    While in this state my suicidal urge goes through the roof and I end up feeling more alone than ever. I end up drinking the next day again. I want to go to see someone again . But I fear it wont help , cause it did not the last time. It seems I keep trying to get my mind off my mind?

    I have tried everything. I have spoken tried . But it always seems to grab me from behind when I am not looking.

    I fear I will attempt suicide again before the year end or on the year end itself. I don’t see any point of carrying on. I can go out and just enjoy a beer. I have one beer which leads to 3 days of drinking hard without reason??A
     
  2. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    I'm sure your friend's mother meant well, but she obviously doesn't understand the nature of depression at all. She's very misinformed if she believes that there's any quick fix (not just church) for your problems. Were you taking anti-depressants before? If you were, and they helped, then please start taking them again. If they didn't help you, or if you've never been prescribed anti-depressants, then make an appointment to see your doctor and tell them about your depression and the way you've started drinking.

    I know from personal experience how easy it is to slip into the habit of trying to self-medicate with alcohol, and yes - it is the first step down a slippery slope into full-blown alcoholism.

    You really should try to stop getting drunk at all if it increases your feelings of depression and thoughts of committing suicide. I know it's hard, but you've turned to alcohol because you haven't got other methods of coping (like counselling, and/or anti-depressants).

    Please see your doctor soon.

    You can talk about the reasons for your depression here. When did your depression begin? Do you know why you are depressed, and why you feel suicidal? We're here to help you, so share your problems with us. :hug:

    Thinking of you,

    ~Nobody~
     
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun get to your doctor. Tell him/her what you just said here. The anti depressants will not fuck up your brain, they will help you over a bad time. The alcohol (a known depressant) could end up pushing you over the edge and will damage your liver if you keep on with it.

    GO SEE YOUR DOC !!!
     
  4. wolf

    wolf Active Member

    Its started with a girl and it triggered something in me. Since then I have been a waste of blood for those around me. Every month something else goes wrong.

    I going to have to stop drinking. What the hell do I do now. Sit at home every night by myself and star into space??
     
  5. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    No, you do other stuff...see a movie, take up a hobby you like, take up a sport...good for endorphins that one.
     
  6. wolf

    wolf Active Member

    I have been doing gym for the past year. But you can only train for 2 hours a day then you finished. Would go to movie , but going alone would drive me insane. I got to find something else to do I know . I want to stop drinking and smoking all together. But then that means staying away from places that serve booze.... Its going to be tuff but I got to get it right ..
     
  7. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Watch a movie at home? Read a book? Spend time on these forums?

    Please do see a Doctor about your depression... (whereabouts in the world are you?)

    Well done for deciding to stop drinking :smile:.

    Do you want to talk more about the reasons you are depressed? I don't mean to pressure you. Just saying that if you do want to talk about it there are people here to listen :hug:.
     
  8. wolf

    wolf Active Member

    This is the third time I am typing this out. The last one did not make much sense.

    At the moment I don’t feel like I belong anywhere in society . I feel that I am too different than other people. I see life in another eye compared to others.

    I have never had problems with socializing in public. But the last 6 months have been terrible. If I meet someone who is interested in me (this has happened 4 or 5 times so far) I get cold feet and nervous . I am scared of been rejected again or not accepted. I am always been told that some of my actions are strange and that I am crazy . I do stupid things and say stupid things to get a reaction out of people or to get them to laugh thinking I am crazy , but fully aware they would react that way.

    To make this not 4 pages like it nearly was. I think I am scared of not been accepted for who I am . So I try be someone I am not.

    I try hide my problems and issues by drinking making jokes and been silly .

    Like when I go out . Every person I meet seems exactly the same as the previous . They all seem like sheep to me. They all seem pointless and do and act the same as everyone else? They seem all so predicable . It makes me feel more and more alone. As I cannot relate to anyone .

    And every girl I meet I tend to push away , as I don’t want to go through the same pain backstabbing and commotion as the last. I don’t think I could ever trust anyone but me?

    Does any of this make sense . Cause I don’t know. I feel like I just don’t belong here.

    I want to go and see someone . But if it brings out the depression I was feeling 4 months ago . I am scared that would be the nail in my coffin
     
  9. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your PM.

    I understand how you feel. Most people are scared of rejection, even without having ever been rejected! What exactly happened in that relationship? I'm really sorry you've had such a bad experience with someone you trusted and (presumably) loved.

    Sorry, I don't know what else to say in this post, except that I really do know how you're feeling. Even if you feel that you can't relate to anyone, I feel like I can probably relate to you.

    If you want to talk you can always PM me, I'm on here very regularly I think.

    My thoughts are with you,

    :hug:

    x
     
  10. wolf

    wolf Active Member

    I have sent you another PM. Will check back tomorrow . Thanks for you help you a star:mellow:
     
  11. paws

    paws New Member

    hi wolf, i relate to how your feeling right now, i am struggling the same. if you ever need to talk dont hesitate to pm me.
    take care
    paws
     
  12. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Just letting you know, I replied to your latest PM this morning.

    Hope you're okay :hug:.
     
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