Well I don't know whether to feel better or worse now after talking to him today. All I remember is we were talking and he was in a good mood and we were just chit chatting about nothing really. So he was telling me about his plans for the weekend. He said he had to work tomorrow. Then going w a few guys to motorcross tomorrow night then maybe gonna go play paintball sunday. I just said I was going shopping. So after that we were talking and I just figured I'd asked him the question even though I had already asked him before. I asked him if he had thought about when he might want to see me. He said not really. He said that it was just going to take time and I was just trying to explain to him how I felt that I didn't know if I even had anything to hang on to or not. He said that he just needed to work on getting over some things. He said that towards the end things were bad w us and that he needed some time to get over that. I said I wasn't asking to stay the weekend or anything. Even just to see him for awhile. And he said the weekend thing wasn't even an option now and I said I know that. I said I just want to know where I stand and I wasn't trying to push him. He said I had asked him this before so he felt like I was pushing him. I said all I want is to know if I will get to see him again. He said yes. I said I'm not asking for a date but even a general timeframe. I said do you think it will be before 6 mths. And he said well yea. I said is it that you want to see someone else. He said no that's not it. He said but if you don't want to wait on me and meet someone I can't stop you. Which makes me feel really bad because I feel like that tells me he don't care if I do or not. That would be like me telling him I couldn't do anything if he met someone. Which he could. I just don't want to and don't want him to. So then he said he just needed time to get things back to the way they were. He said that he's a emotional person and needs to get his feelings good again and told me that if I just let things go and not stress over things that it would work itself out. I don't really know I guess what he meant by that but I guess I have no choice if I want to be w him again. Its just really hard because I'm now contantly thinking will he find someone else, does he really still love me. I also mentioned about the saying I love him thing. I said if you don't want me to tell you that anymore just say. He said no tell me whatever you want. And I said well do you understand how it makes me feel when you don't tell me back and he said that he had been for the most part. But not usually on the phone. Only in text. Which bothers me too. But what can I do! I can't force him to tell me he loves me and honestly at this point I question it. There is just so much that doesn't make sense to me. Yes I get maybe he just needs more time to get back to a good place emtionally. But I don't get what it would hurt seeing me at all? Even for a few hours? That's the part I don't get. I guess it doesn't even matter at this point becuase I feel like I have said all I need to and can to him about it all. I just told him I hope he keeps communication open w me. He said he had been talking to me. And I said that's not what I meant. I meant like if you think you're feeling better about things or whatever. But I doubt he will. Cause I think that we will just keep talking as we have been and that eventually I will just fade out of his mind. Maybe that is my negative thinking but its really hard not to think that way when I have no real reassurance at all. That's all I want from him. Sometimes I feel like I get it. Like the other day when he told me he missed me. But then other times like today I feel like I'm just more of a burden to him. And I don't think he has any real idea of how hard this is on me. He says he is trying to understand how I feel and what I'm going through but I feel like he really don't. And I do sort of get what he's saying and going through but the problem is I don't know if or how long it will take him to get right to where he wants to see me again. If that day ever happens. That's the hardest part. Right now I do love him so I'm really trying to do what he's saying it will take for us to make it. But at the same time I feel like I could be waiting for nothing because what if either he does. Meet someone or if he just decides one day that he wants nothing more to do w me? I know I can't keep thinking that way but I can't help it. All I want is to see him. Its so hard not having any contact at all w him. I just feel so lonely. Yet I think he is doing ok. I don't even feel like he misses me really.