Am I going crazy or was I already there???

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by ket93, Feb 27, 2009.

  1. ket93

    ket93 Well-Known Member

    Well I don't know whether to feel better or worse now after talking to him today.
    All I remember is we were talking and he was in a good mood and we were just chit chatting about nothing really. So he was telling me about his plans for the weekend. He said he had to work tomorrow. Then going w a few guys to motorcross tomorrow night then maybe gonna go play paintball sunday. I just said I was going shopping.

    So after that we were talking and I just figured I'd asked him the question
    even though I had already asked him before. I asked him if he had thought about when he might want to see me. He said not really. He said that it was just going to take time and I was just trying to explain to him how I felt that I didn't know if I even had anything to hang on to or not. He said that he
    just needed to work on getting over some things. He said that towards the end things were bad w us and that he needed some time to get over that. I said I wasn't asking to stay the weekend or anything.

    Even just to see him for awhile. And he said the weekend thing wasn't even an option now and I said I know that.

    I said I just want to know where I stand and I wasn't trying to push him.
    He said I had asked him this before so he felt like I was pushing him. I said
    all I want is to know if I will get to see him again. He said yes. I said
    I'm not asking for a date but even a general timeframe. I said do you think
    it will be before 6 mths. And he said well yea. I said is it that you want to
    see someone else. He said no that's not it. He said but if you don't
    want to wait on me and meet someone I can't stop you. Which makes me feel really bad because I feel like that tells me he don't care if I do or not.
    That would be like me telling him I couldn't do anything if he met someone.
    Which he could. I just don't want to and don't want him to.

    So then he said he just needed time to get things back to the way they
    He said that he's a emotional person and needs to get his feelings good
    again and told me that if I just let things go and not stress over things that
    it would work itself out. I don't really know I guess what he meant by that
    but I guess I have no choice if I want to be w him again. Its just really hard
    because I'm now contantly thinking will he find someone else, does he really
    still love me. I also mentioned about the saying I love him thing. I said if you
    don't want me to tell you that anymore just say. He said no tell me whatever
    you want. And I said well do you understand how it makes me feel when you
    don't tell me back and he said that he had been for the most part. But not
    usually on the phone. Only in text. Which bothers me too. But what can I do!
    I can't force him to tell me he loves me and honestly at this point I question

    There is just so much that doesn't make sense to me. Yes I get maybe he
    just needs more time to get back to a good place emtionally. But I don't get
    what it would hurt seeing me at all? Even for a few hours? That's the part I
    don't get.

    I guess it doesn't even matter at this point becuase I feel like I have
    said all I need to and can to him about it all. I just told him I hope he keeps
    communication open w me. He said he had been talking to me. And I said
    that's not what I meant. I meant like if you think you're feeling better
    about things or whatever. But I doubt he will. Cause I think that we will just
    keep talking as we have been and that eventually I will just fade out of his
    mind. Maybe that is my negative thinking but its really hard not to think that
    way when I have no real reassurance at all. That's all I want from him.
    Sometimes I feel like I get it. Like the other day when he told me he missed me. But then other times like today I feel like I'm just more of a burden to

    And I don't think he has any real idea of how hard this is on me. He says
    he is trying to understand how I feel and what I'm going through but I feel
    like he really don't. And I do sort of get what he's saying and going
    through but the problem is I don't know if or how long it will take him to
    get right to where he wants to see me again. If that day ever happens.
    That's the hardest part. Right now I do love him so I'm really trying
    to do what he's saying it will take for us to make it. But at the same time
    I feel like I could be waiting for nothing because what if either he does. Meet
    someone or if he just decides one day that he wants nothing more to do w me?

    I know I can't keep thinking that way but I can't help it.
    All I want is to see him. Its so hard not having any contact at all w him.
    I just feel so lonely. Yet I think he is doing ok. I don't even feel like
    he misses me really.
  2. endlessskies58

    endlessskies58 Well-Known Member

    love, i know EXACTLY how you feel. i am having horrible trouble with a break up... i'm having so much trouble mending and getting out of a mindset... but i think i'm getting better. you can't help how your heart feels.

    now, in my opinion, i don't think he knows what he wants. it sounds like he has feelings for you still but he's being a brat and wants to play around. he wants to have all of his options open and guys for some reason feel like once they commit to one person then they are trapped. it also sounds like he is torn too because he does care about you and because of this knows he shouldn't lead you on despite his feelings

    this is what mine did too. he was keeping me on the backburner for a year. finally i decided to stop talking to him completely recently. i think it's the best even though i miss him so much. its a win win situation where i will either get over him with time or he will miss me and come back.

    we both know i think that if it was meant to be then they will return and if they don't then it was for the best that they left.

    so i feel that that maybe the best for you too. especially since he is probably loving the attention you are giving him. he may get scared of loosing it if he feels he's lost you. but don't be on bad terms with him or get him jealous or any of that...

    and no matter what, YOU need to be number one. so no matter what, try to get over him because that is what will benefit you in the long run. and if he comes back too late, then that's his fault for being an idiot and missing out.

    i know how you feel. the heart can be so unfair sometimes. if you need anything pm me because i understand. i send my love

  3. ket93

    ket93 Well-Known Member

    I think after talking to him today, I really feel like i want to be gone forever.
    He seemed so cold. He said he would always love me but yet he cannot even tell me when he will see me. He said he did not want it to go back to how it was and I dont either. But even just to see me for a few hours what would that hurt? but apparently he cant for whatever reason.

    I want so bad to be with him. My friend just tells me to move on and get over him. It is not that easy and I think it is unfair for her or anyone else to think it is. Yes I have my kids to think about and I do think about them. Yes I should be strong and go on and forget about him. But I cant. I love him too much.
  4. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    im not going to say to just get over him
    i hate when people say that

    judging from your situation, he doesnt want to
    "play the feild"
    so to say. i know it's hard but you should stop
    talking to him little by little, it will help, trust me :hug: