Am I going insane?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by AsbestosMoth, Jan 24, 2012.

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  1. AsbestosMoth

    AsbestosMoth Member

    I suffer delusions, I see patterns that I know are creations of my own mind. I have the feeling that a tyrannical god is picking on me, every time I feel good, my brain says 'That's God, luring you into a sense of false security, so he can hurt you more.'

    I think I'm going to hell. I see patterns and symbols, and I know I'm making it up in my head, but I can't shake them off. I don't know what to do.
     
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    No, I don't think you're insane, but I think you could benefit from getting it checked out. You never know for sure what the problem might be until you get it looked into.
     
  3. AsbestosMoth

    AsbestosMoth Member

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    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 24, 2012
  4. AlienBeing

    AlienBeing Well-Known Member

    Yes, I'm pretty sure you're going insane. We're all going insane here. You should tell a pdoc and maybe he'll give you an antipsychotic or something.
     
  5. Morningstar

    Morningstar Well-Known Member

    I think the same general things myself actually, but I am insane so. . .I dunno if it's really affecting your life you should get it looked into. Personally I'd try going with alternative treatments first, psych meds can really screw with you and it does make a lot of people worse not better. All depends on one's body chemistry really but, ya never know, I say air on the side of caution with these things. An if it's not really affecting your life in an overly negative way maybe it's just the way you think. That's the way I look at it anyway but this is all just my opinion. I do hope you're okay though and that you take care of yourself.
     
  6. AlienBeing

    AlienBeing Well-Known Member

    Yeah, it kind of depends on how much it's bothering you. It sounds like it could be the prodromal symptoms of schizophrenia or schizotypal personality disorder or quite possibly psychotic depression. It kind of reminds me of some crazy things I was thinking during my last depression. I felt like something was trying to suck me into a vortex, and like maybe it was the devil and he wanted me to kill myself and was telling me to, stuff like that. It was all kind of jumbled up. Don't think I ever told my shrink about it though because I was pretty sure he would think I was really crazy or he wouldn't believe me or something, I don't know, I just never told him. I wasn't completely convinced it was true either, but I was getting there. Also had a lot of derealization and depersonalization feelings too, like I was an actor on a stage enacting a tragedy and I was merely watching myself, watching my life fall apart. Not getting any of that this time...not yet anyway.
     
  7. prakash

    prakash Well-Known Member

    since you realize that you are making these things in your head, you are not insane. You should vent out your emotions on this forum. write as much as you want. Tell us how you fee. we will reply and you will feel better.
     
  8. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    You are definitely not insane. It sounds like psychosis, which is easily treatable by a psychiatrist. :hug:
     
  9. AsbestosMoth

    AsbestosMoth Member

    Where do schizophrenia or psychosis come from? What causes it?
     
  10. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I am not sure. Schizophrenia is more than just the hallucinations. But sometimes it comes from repressed memories, trauma etc
     
  11. AlienBeing

    AlienBeing Well-Known Member

    I used to have what I call " illusions" too, when very depressed. I'd see blue plants growing out of the blue carpet, birds in pictures on my wall would flutter their wings, patterns in the hardwood would turn into complex pictures, I thought maybe people on the radio were talking to me specifically. Now I knew none of it was real but these are what they call "prodromol" symptoms of schizophrenia --a sign that one might be coming down with the illness or schizotypal symptoms. They went away with my depression though so they were probably related to it. I was verging on psychotic depression most likely.
     
  12. AsbestosMoth

    AsbestosMoth Member

    I can't stop schizophrenia, can I?
     
  13. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Well you can't stop it, but the hallucinations and illusions can be controlled through medication.
     
  14. Anneinside

    Anneinside Well-Known Member

    Don't get too worried yet. If these hallucinations ONLY happen when you are depressed, you may have psychotic depression, not schizophrenia. If it happens even when you are not depressed then schizophrenia would have to be considered. Again, what ever it is there is medication that can treat it.
     
  15. AsbestosMoth

    AsbestosMoth Member

    The delusions are always pecking at me, if I occupy myself, I can take my mind off of them, but they never go away. I see images of death and gore, people torn to pieces, I see myself dying horribly. Splintered bones, disembowelment, scenes of massacre, pain and violation. I dream of the undead, of facists governments, hate and murder.
     
  16. AlienBeing

    AlienBeing Well-Known Member

    If they are upsetting you and affecting your well-being then you should tell your pdoc and ask if s/he can help you.
     
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