am i in crisis?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by AnnieK, Jan 8, 2014.

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  1. AnnieK

    AnnieK Well-Known Member

    honestly i don't know. i think the professional world of psychology doesn't know the first thing about how to treat depression. i've battled this monster for 2 years with no hope of improvement. see, i no longer care to get any better. it's like, i'm not suicidal, altho i was a couple of weeks ago. i'm just in this never ending fog of "oh well. whatever." i do not plan to go back to work. i don't understand a life of living to just go to a mundane job, pay your rent, have sub-adequate relationships ....and what?

    i wish i could put this into clearer,more concise wording. i just don't care any more. i don't know why i would think i have all this talent and no balls to do anything with it. always taking the safe route, safe job, the one with insurance and so i can pay rent just to live in a stupid big city with big balls. silly. maybe i'm just aging, but i don't want the life i see out there. i get nothing from it.

    so, i've decided to barely go outside, forsake the exercise and eating right and meeting with friends [awkward and excruciating] , sleep when i can, watch movies all day, write if i can but don't feel like it. artistically drained. so really. whatever.

    i can't talk to any of my friends about this. it would scare them. but i have no hope of ever getting "cured" or even in some sort of remission. it's just gone on way too long with no real progress and it's no way to live.

    i don't like it. i don't hate it. it just is.
    :apthy:
     
  2. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    think a lot of people share this view point.

    i also relate and agree, everything numbs creative processes, education in first world is shit. it's hard to motivate self
    empathize
     
  3. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Sometimes I think we are no different from those worker ants.
     
  4. AnnieK

    AnnieK Well-Known Member

    that's what i've been my whole life. good little worker bee. well, my stinger fell off, so you know....there goes that.

    :smash:
     
  5. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    try and glue it back on
    elsewhere it sounded like you were becoming desensitized to every day things that were once exciting
    try something new, anything new
     
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