So you dont know me but I talk alot, I mean ALOT. So here it goes... I have lost 4 friends in the past month (no they havent died just decided they are better then me). The first one Shaun- He was a complete jerk and I dont care about loosing him BUT, we met through a friend of mine and we became close we kissed a couple times and then I found out he was making out with some other chick and now thinks I am a psychotic bitch and wants nothing to do with me. The second one Madison- I have known her all my life and it fuckin hurts, I think shes there for me and has enough patience to deal with my problems (elsewise she wouldnt of been my friend for this long) and then yesterday she text me and says we cant be friends anymore cuz I am sick of dealing with your problems. And so I say fine (cuz I am tired of dealin with people that just dont care anymore) and today she text me and says that shes thought about it and wants to be friends with me but just needs to take a break from me. My response "NO, cuz your just gonna do this again and I dont need to feel guitly about nothing" IDK did I do the right thing there? And the 3rd and final friend Tray- I texted him cuz I had his number cuz my friend gave it to me to give to my friend who Tray likes. I had no right to do that but, I did and its causing sooo many unecassary problems! I get told from Trays friend that Tray is lieing to me and pretneding to me my friend and that Tray hates me. Tray denies it all and cuz he IS my friend I belive what he says not what his friend says. But now I am hearing it from more then one person and IDK what to do. I feel soo bad like ALL this is my fault. And I keep telling him sorry and I dont want to loose him but, is he just still staying my friend cuz I am forcing him too? Am I being to paranoid? I just want to be able to belive him and NOT worry that when I am textin him or calling him he is telling his friend corey about what I am saying. I feel so freakin torn and its killing me. We agreeed not to talk at all for a week and I wont talk to him EVER again unless he text me first. I went to church today. And started crying the second we started singing. I was shakin soo bad and I bit my lip so hard to keep calm that my lip started bleeding. And no one said anything to me., no one cares Lindsey in church she started crying about something else and her friend comforted her and I realized I dont have any friends that care enough to say its gonna be ok and give me a hug I feel like I am screaming and no one dares to look at me.