Am I Invisible?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Rainbow90, Jan 25, 2010.

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  1. Rainbow90

    Rainbow90 Active Member

    I feel invisible like there is something blocking me from people to see me.
    I am so depressed right now.
    I have no friends at college. 2nd semester start today.
    I tried getting 2 peoples attention today by calling their name and they didnt hear me. I dont think I am so quiet. I was saying it pretty loud and they werent to far away.
    No one wants to talk to me. No one notices I am alive.
    Who would care if I died?
     
  2. Synesthetic Soul

    Synesthetic Soul Well-Known Member

    We would care. I know it seems that you're invisible sometimes (it happens to me too) but that's no reason to give up on life. There are other ways to be happy too. I know it sucks to be lonely, I have very few real friends and it makes me very depressed some days.

    Still, we're here for you, we can be your friends. We may not always reply quickly, but we're here, we listen, and we love you. Please don't give up, you are not alone.
     
  3. jnine

    jnine Well-Known Member

    Hello Rainbow90,

    What are you studying?
     
  4. Rainbow90

    Rainbow90 Active Member

    Im lonely. Life sucks. I hate who I am. Its everything is why I wanna no be here. Maybe there are people online who care but I am in so much pain. It doesnt balance out.
    I am majoring in Human Development but I hate people.... 5 have no idea what job I will get. Nothing interests me. I mean Ill like the classes probably but its not something I wanna do.
     
  5. jnine

    jnine Well-Known Member

    :smile:
    i always enjoyed the learning more than the enviroment too. So if you aren't sure what you'll do with your degree, what would you like to do?
     
  6. Rainbow90

    Rainbow90 Active Member

    There is nothing I want to do. Except sleep and go on the internet and watch youtube videos. I like concerts. I like roller coaster anything with a thrill. I am to lazy to do anything. Can I just do nothing?
     
  7. jnine

    jnine Well-Known Member

    doing nothing is good with me, but i think it just gets plain old boring and lonely after a bit.
    What kind of concerts do you like best?
     
  8. Rainbow90

    Rainbow90 Active Member

    Well thats how my life is now anyway.
    I like pop music... Avril Lavigne,Disney stuff... actually most music is boring me theses days. Dont even like Disney much anymore.
     
  9. Synesthetic Soul

    Synesthetic Soul Well-Known Member

    Do you draw at all? I find for me drawing helps me relax. It might help you relax too. If I have nothing else, I have my sketch book. I find drawing therapeutic.
     
  10. Rainbow90

    Rainbow90 Active Member

    I hate drawing. I suck at it. I suck at everything. I suck at life.
     
  11. jnine

    jnine Well-Known Member

    boring/not boring is a choice
    If you want people to 'see' you there has to be something for a person to recognize. I mean if you want to have friends then you might need some interests. Friends develope because people have some thing in common, a thing they both enjoy, a situation/class/job/family, something that they can understand about each other even if it's only a small or surface thing. It's like a handle, if you present a totally smooth front, i don't like anything, i'm not intersted, i'm not ....then there is nothing for that other person to connect to. Do you know what i'm meanning?
     
  12. Rainbow90

    Rainbow90 Active Member

    No one likes what I like. And I dont believe that. The 35 people in the summer program I went to for college are like all friends now except me. They all like drama. Stupid boyfriend and class drama. Maybe thats what they have in common. Im gay. Not out.
     
  13. Synesthetic Soul

    Synesthetic Soul Well-Known Member

    Being gay is very hard in these days so I can see why you feel so isolated. Still, maybe you can try to find other things that are fun. New things. Sometimes life just needs a refresher, you know?
     
  14. Rainbow90

    Rainbow90 Active Member

    I am happy sometimes. Not going to lie. I have 3 friends back home. I hate being home. Parents always fight. Ive hated life for 8 years now. Life changes. Never better. Just different.
     
  15. jnine

    jnine Well-Known Member

    someone will like what you like Rainbow90 i recognize your loneliness but you honestly aren't alone. and i agree drama is just distressing and can suck the fun out of anything but still to not be lonely requires being involved with people somehow

    being gay isn't a reason to be lonely
     
  16. Rainbow90

    Rainbow90 Active Member

    Me and my friends back home never have drama. I mean we have some but it makes sense. We have been friends for 4 years. And its not even between us. Its with other people who we are not friends with anymore. People at college have drama within an hour.
     
  17. jnine

    jnine Well-Known Member

    8years is a long time, i'm glad you have friends even if they aren't near you.
    and i absoutely do agree that things will change and then change again and sometimes not for the better but every now and then something really good can happen

    waiting for that sucks,
    that's one reason developing interests is usefull, another is that it takes some up some of that suckie time and then offers something to share with other people
     
  18. jnine

    jnine Well-Known Member

    complex issues~ dealing with people

    almost the same thing yes?
     
  19. Rainbow90

    Rainbow90 Active Member

    They are friends but sometimes I wonder what a friend is.
    I have some interest. But I cant always do things that I like. Unicycling,Ropes Course,Roller Coasters,Concerts,Skiing...
     
  20. jnine

    jnine Well-Known Member

    Rainbow90 what do you find interesting?

    What kinds of things do you find interesting Synthetic Soul?
     
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