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Am I just a tool for people?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by CorruptedAngel, Mar 29, 2013.

  1. CorruptedAngel

    CorruptedAngel New Member

    For the longest time since I was alive, I had a skin condition that was enough alone to make me different from others. It was hard making friends when I was little, and I wanted to prove myself
    to others so i gained respect. It didn't turn out that way, I was always looked down on as long as I wasn't the one on top. Even if I was, people hated me despite me trying to be nice. The only
    time they would is if they knew I could help them with something and then afterwards leave me alone again. I was backstabbed by people I thought were my friends so many times and it turns out each used me for different reasons, and when I wanted something back to have my own needs met, I got dumped. I have a boyfriend now who does care about me but i'm afraid of losing him if i'm not good enough for him. He says he cares bout me, but I can't believe him after all my experiences with people who said the same thing. I can't go to my parents or other friends since
    they all think I have a good life just because i'm not 'suffering' outside as much as other people. I really don't know what to do. I'm trying to find a job to prove myself as a young college student
    and it is going badly too, so i look lazy to my parents cause i don't have a job. I just want to be good enough for people so they would stop looking at me as a freak, jerk, or tool to use, but as a human being. I'm not sure if that will ever happen though.
  2. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    It's a feeling I'm all to aware of that lack of self worth and being useful to people, used to the point were you give everything and then get left. I think what I have found is I trust Being careful who I let in. I'm time I have but a few friends but those I trust with my life, and the value of my own self worth is going up. I'm just really sorry you feel this way, can I help?