Am I not good enough?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by LittleSparkles13, Jun 3, 2013.

  1. LittleSparkles13

    LittleSparkles13 Well-Known Member

    My mate moved into her new place today and I can't help but be completely jealous of her. I have my own place and i have a son that loves me but i just want more. She has such a huge place and now has two cellars in her one bedroom place and lots of storage and i have a loft and a cupboard. I know she deserves it but why can't i just be happy for her?

    I always want to be like someone else. If i see something they have that i don't i try my very best to do it. Like if they have their room a certain way i will too. Or wear certain clothes. I feel like i'm in competition with them.

    I know they always say well you have a boyfriend that loves you. Yeah he loves me so much that even if we do gymnastics together it's normally just weights and bar work. And when we start going to the gym he wants me to do weights again. He thinks that's what i need. :(

    I really don't know what to do anymore.

    I'm stuck.
  2. snarrylover

    snarrylover Well-Known Member

    It's normal to be jealous of other people and what they have, especially if they have more. It's also normal to take ideas from them - like decorating ideas for your rooms, or fashion advice. It doesn't mean you aren't good enough.

    Maybe you haven't found who you really are yet? Or maybe there's something bigger missing from your life? Do you have any idea of what it would take to satisfy this need?

    It isn't healthy to compare ourselves to other people, but I know most of us do it. But it sounds as though the only one telling you you aren't good enough is yourself.

  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    It's totally normal to be jealous of others...I am often jealous of people because they have what I can't you aren't alone in that feeling. I just try to remember the things I'm good at or the good things I have in my life, and just try to focus on that. Sometimes I try to understand why I'm jealous of someone and what they have, and try to go after that if I want it.
  4. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    Being jealous of those who have more is fairly common. But who's to say you couldn't get it if you approached things from another angle (ie, focus on your son/you/your bf more).

    Comparing yourself to others while common can be detrimental. Is it worth putting yourself through the phases of jealousy when you do compare? I'm not convinced it is.

    On the bf side of things, he shouldn't be trying to force you to do things you don't wish to be doing. If he loves you that much he should allow you to be who you want to be (maybe even seeking extra help from a gymnastics coach if you can).

    Lastly, you are good enough, you just need to shift focus from comparing yourself to others onto doing things you want to do.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 5, 2013