i have to say as of late things have NOT been so bleak for me, i have started exercising and eating better. that aspect of my life is great and i would not change it for the world now. my issues are being alone, i am just sick and tired of it. no matter what i try to do i cant meet anyone. take classes, join a group, volunteer doesnt mean shit to women in todays society. i never get to 'know" anyone like i would have hoped because i just am NOT worthy. so when classes start back up for me in either october or november i am buying 2 hunting rifles so i can hunt deer and duck. i feel like i am just avoiding the inevitable and will end up turning them on myself in the bitter end. i dont know if this is true but i dont know if my depression will hit me so hard that i will just do it.