am i really passed help now?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by lost_child, Sep 10, 2009.

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  1. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    I'm still alive, still trying to end this life, still ending up in hospital from Od's..and now i'm drinking heavy everynight and using smack. I o'd on tueday night. I can't get any support, or help as i keep being told I need more then just counselling. i'm screwed, i'm past help and if tablets don't kill me the smack and drink will...yet nobody will listen that I cna't cope with life. I wa only doing smack at weekends, i was drinking during the week, but now i'm doing smack every other day and have no fight to fight me. I will be dead soon and yet all the help i've asked for has been rejecteddddd. not sure what to do, or what I need. am i really to far over the line to come back, am I going to be deadd in a feweweeks tine.
     
  2. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    its not too late for you. but its best to quit the smack. it wont help. you need to realise your purpose. nothing i can say will change the world, only help you to change the way you see it. the road to recovery is long and hard, and not everyone gets better. but just take it slow, and never forget the world is so much bigger than just whats in front of you. dont lose sight of whats important. good luck
     
  3. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    I have been trying to quit and i only manage now a day before I need some more. I'm not addicted or hooked but I just need that feeling of being calm even if it doesn't last long. I wish I could see a purpose but I honeslty don't. I believe that everyone around me that knows me would be beter off if i was dead. i keep thining that if i'm going to die soon then why not do it quicker. wh not tonight. i've done smack, drink, tablets will knock me oever the edge surly. I don't know. sorry.
     
  4. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    youve no need to apologize. theres better ways of feeling calm, such as meditation or weed? do you have children or a partner? somebody to keep going for?
     
  5. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    I've no children or partner and I started seeing a guy whose heavcy into smack, i keep hearing a voices, proper voices and its freaking me out. loud males voice. i'm getting freaked I need something. I need to do something. I'm sorry
     
  6. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    please dont apologise. :) have you considered being institutionalized voluntarily? its a bit extreme but may help. but the heroin cant be helping. do you have any goals in life? you could try achieving them when you feel better?
     
  7. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    I've never thought of any goals to be honest. I always said I wouildn't do smack not afte rmy ex used to inject me with it but the last 2 months i've gone back on it and i'm geting worse. I would go itno hospital althouh i always said iw oulnd't i just don't think i'd cope with beng locked up or that it would help as they send me home aafter adau won't there. i'm desperate.. i should driv emy care over the edge.
     
  8. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    well, if you choose to go in by yourself youd get to choose when you left. im sorry your ex did that to you. one of my exes was a heroin addict... but i wont go there. do you want children? or to travel? there must be something youve always wanted to do? like when you were a kid for example?
     
  9. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    I only wanted to be cared for, nothing else. I did want children but now i'm thankful that I lost the only baby I carried. 3 years ago today I lost the baby I was carrying. Im only thank ful becuse no child should have to see a prent like I am...I got so bad the other week and was looking after my niece that I was going to kill both of us, cause she's now being abused and at least she'd be safe if she was in heaven with me. but police came and i was stopped which I am greatfufl for but it just seemed to make me feel worse that i was going to end her life as well. sorry. see how bad i am.
     
  10. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    your not bad for thinking that. honest. if i had a gun id shoot a lot of people just so they didnt have to suffer. it doesnt make you bad. you just got lost along the way. you seem nice, but you need to do something.
     
  11. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    I've tried everything I can think off, I don't know what else to do. I'm trapped in a box just banging my head against walls. Nobody will listen. I'm tired of fighting to get some support. I'm a waste of space. I'm sorry.
     
  12. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    i dont think your a waste of space. and im here to listen. but i need to get some rest but ill probably be back on soon. cant get to sleep. hope youll be ok? :hug:
     
  13. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    I've not slept, i'm shattered. I need sleep but i'm scared now to sleep cause I keep being sick. I'm more depressed then i was a few hours ago I can see and feel myself getting lower each second and I'm not sure what to do. i've tried to get help I just don't seem to be able too. i'm sorry.
     
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