I thought hard before posting. I'm starting to come to term with certain parts of my life, or at least I think so. I've had a hard life and find it really difficult to trust anyone. My mother and my father hit me. My father then abandonned me while I took care of my mentaly ill mother. This give me multiple reasons to experience feelings of sadness and depression. But my childhood is blurry... I've always had the weard feeling that I suffered even more than I remember. I've asked myself about sexual abuse a lot during my life (I'm 25 y/o). I've always had a weard relationship with the opposite sex (and I recently discovered that I'm bisexual). Sex made me inconfortable for a long time and while having a relationship with a boy, it was always kinda difficult. Though I had relationship with boys (that were always unclear so I had to protect myself a minimum), I went to bed with a boy only once, in terrible conditions (feelings of depression), and felt really bad. I felt this weard feeling of oppression and felt like an object. I also had those feelings of knowing that... I've felt things before but I've always put it in the back of my mind, telling myself that I was just making things up, for attention for exemple. But could it be true ? I do not remember a single detail of this but I have a strong feeling and sensation that I might have been raped. Am I right ? Do you think I should shut up in order to stop offensing people whom have been raped "for real" ?