Am I right to tell my friend?

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Love's Icy Death, Jul 11, 2008.

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  1. Love's Icy Death

    Love's Icy Death Well-Known Member

    I recently told one of my friends over msn how I've been feeling depressed and my fixation over death and how I'm constantly thinking about it, I asked him if he would come with me to see a therapist as emotional support. He said he would and I really value his friendship.

    The other day he was organizing a pub trip because one of my other friends girlfriends dumped him, and the idea was to cheer him up, anyways the conversation went to when my friend (that i told my depression to) started to talk about that no-one did nothing like that to cheer him up when he broke up with his girlfriend. It sounds selfish I know but I just want to show him my scars and cuts and say I'm in pain as well, I want to be there for my friends but sometimes my stuff gets heavy and i cant deal with much else. Should I open up to him, tell him, it would be nice to tell someone, but I don't want our friendship to turn weird.

    I really don't know what to do.
     
  2. SweetSurrender

    SweetSurrender Well-Known Member

    that's a difficult one and really only something you can answer for yourself. If it helps i've told a few friends and i guess a few others have seen my scars and guessed and i've had mixed reactions - some have been understanding, some have yelled, others have obviously disapproved but looked the other way. It is nice to tell someone, and i would definately tell your therapist, and perhaps being able to tell a friend could just get it off your chest but from experience don't expect this admittal to mean that your friend will always be there for you and not ever need support himself. I understand how you feel, there have been times when my friends have been talking to me about hard times in their lives and i've wanted to be like - yeh me too, but i've always not because it is such a sensitive subject and at the end of the day, everyone needs support not just me so i'd be selfish to bring the subject onto me. But if you really trust this guy then you could try and brooch the subjects and see how he reacts, otherwise just focus on the main/root issues of your SH with him - whatever they may be. Afterall SH is just a symptom, allieviate the cause and you might not even need to tell anyone!
    Sorry this is confused. take care and keep safe. Well done for getting support!
     
  3. Rachael41

    Rachael41 Well-Known Member

    its so unbelievable how much i understand lol !
    i recently told my friend chris how if feel (and over msn 2)...and i was terrified of what he would think...but like ur friend he was great about....

    he also confessed to me that he had the same feelings, and had recently attempted suicide...so he understands me completely.........
    I think if u trust ur friend u need to take a chance on him....
    If hes truely ur friend he will have no issues with it and he will only care for ur wellbeing..it might also help him if he realises that ur in pain 2 :)
     
  4. ~sal~

    ~sal~ Member

    i understand how u feel i recently told one of my friends over msn cos i wasnt sure how he'd react but they were reli supportive about it and jus let me talk, he has helped me loads since i told him, i think if you think your friend will support you then go for it

    sal
     
  5. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    You've somewhat broke the ice already by letting out your deep feelings about how depressed you feel. I guess it depends how comfortable you feel with him and how long you've known each other etc as to if (and how) you let him know about your self harm.

    Talk to him about this face to face, it's better than MSN and you can read his 'language' better, too. I suggest you let your friend know face to face how low you've been feeling and take it from there.

    Self harm isn't something to be ashamed of, I'm just concerned that your friend may freak out (as some people do) if you just sit with them and show your scars. It really depends on the type of person he is, you know him a lot better than us.

    Good luck!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 11, 2008
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