Am I self harming

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by LouisLeGros, Jul 18, 2007.

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  1. LouisLeGros

    LouisLeGros Member

    I have been picking scars and poping zits for years as a form of pleasure (more so with the poping pimples,the pain and the feeling of the pus flying out just feels nice).

    As a result I have some pretty noticable scars on my face, back & groinal area.

    I don't know if that would be more on the OCD side of things then SH.

    However, recently I have been purposly inducing bloody noses just to bleed. I've had more then 5 bloody noses in one day with each one lasting proably 10-15 minutes.

    I also tried to stab myself with a small shard from a mirror... it was too small & blunt to do anything. Me failing at making this random impulse just got me even more depressed.

    Yesturday I found a shard from that mirror again and I broke it in half to make it sharper and I started cutting the top of my hand. I didn't feel like dieing or really depressed when I was doing it, I just was.

    The cuts really aren't bad at all, they are really closer to a cat scrath <mod edit:resistance - link to image removed - could be triggering> then what is typically associated with cutting.

    I loss my device for the cuttig and don't really feel the urge to use it again because I feel so guilty for having all of these scratches on my hand.

    Also, the bloody noses <mod edit:resistance - link to image removed - could be triggering> I don't really tend to do anything about them. I have a few shirts that have become a bit bloody becase of them and I've had blood all over my face several times because of it. So since I was just bleeding I let it fall someplace that I clean easily but not make a mess on stainable thinks like bedding and clothes.

    I don't know why I went and took those pictures. I think they are pretty damn anonymous though, if they wern't I would probably be having a panic attack right now.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 18, 2007
  2. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Hey there, I'm sorry but I removed the links to your pictures from your post as they could be triggering to self harmers to see the blood and the cuts etc. I hope you understand.

    I would say you are self harming, I saw the pictures before I edited them out of the post and it does look to me like you're self harming. But, before you cut/induce your nose bleeds, how do you feel? How do you feel while your doing it and after? That's the most important part. When you feel you want to cut/induce the nose bleeds, have you tried other alternatives to stop yourself? Such as listening to music, going for a walk etc.

    This thread may be of help to you:

    Techniques to avoid self harm in a crisis

    Does anyone know about this?

    Take care of yourself and I'm here if you'd like to talk. :hug:
  3. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    how do you induce a blood nose? thats interesting. Hmm I'd say you may have a little problem. Maybe you like pain. Or is the pain used as a coping technique to numb the inner pain you feel>?
  4. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Very well said.. I'm with Res onthis. :hug:
  5. LouisLeGros

    LouisLeGros Member

    I've only done the scratching once.

    When I do these things is not on any regular basis. I don't think about setting aside time do to it, I usually just do.

    I would probably say my most common emotion when it happens is simply being empty. When I was scratching I simply on the computer reading articles that I found interesting and while I my hand was free from scrolling down I simply used to to scratch my hand.

    Then for inducing bloody noses?
    I guess I have a very sensitive nose and I have a long history of just having them. Once I get one it is pretty easy to keep em coming. I guess it hasn't healed all the way and really small things can cause it to start again (by small I mean things like washing my face)

    I'd also like to add, the picture with the bloody featured no injuries at all beyond well the bloody nose. It was on my other arm & before I even scratched myself (after I tried to stab myself).
  6. Isa

    Isa Well-Known Member

    Self harm, the definition of is actions that are destructive towards your self.

    Promiscuous or dangerous sex, drinking, drugs, smoking, burning, cutting, scratching, pulling out hair, pulling out eyelashes, biting the inside of your mouth or tongue, pulling off your fingernails.... theres a million long list of things..

    If its self destructive then it can be classed as self harm
  7. LouisLeGros

    LouisLeGros Member

    the pain from washing the hand and moving it feels so good and well bad at the same time... I guess I could see how it could be so addicted. I think I won't do it again, or atleast I won't do anything serious like deeper cuts that could caused damage to veins, arteries, muscles & nerves.
  8. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    Are you getting urges?

    I havent cut in about a month now, I have found a way to not reach a start of 'rage' where I feel so angry and violent towards myself. If you ever feel like hurting yourself,you have to learn to keep your mind off it and do something. Or like you said think about the damage you could do, or who would see it, or the life long scars...
  9. LouisLeGros

    LouisLeGros Member

    No I'm not feeling urges. I don't know why I even did it in the first place.
  10. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    I dont think it sounds like you have much of a serious problem with self harm. Which is good :)
  11. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    Self harm can start with scratching. That's what happened with me. It spirals and slowly gets worse and worse and out of control. To me, what you are doing is self harm. If you dont know why you did it in the first place... please don't do it again. It definitely isn't worth it. Stay safe.

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