Quick history... All my life I've been told, indirectly and not-so-indirectly, by my immediate family that I am a loser and everything I have done and still do is wrong. It's taken me many years to realize that I am not, and I am only being told that because I did not conform to their expectations. I am the only one in the family who went to college, after being denied from doing so by my parents. I now have a Master's degree and other certifications. I have also many good things such as starting and owning my own business, with no support from my family. Not to be boastful, but I think I have done some great things. But I am still single at 40 and my parents also see me as a failure because of this. I've been told by them that I make them look bad. So I cut myself off from them recently. Now, I do have friends. Good friends. But they all have their husbands/wives/families and I find lately that I am constantly searching for people to hang out with. I spend quite a bit of time with my nearby cousin and his family, as I desperately need company lately, but then feel like I am imposing on them. Yesterday though, my cousin made a comment about dying and I remarked that that could actually be a good thing. The quick discussion about it resulted in him saying that it is "selfish", and he said so in an angry tone. WTF?! Though we were speaking about no one in particular, we did have another mutual cousin commit suicide some years ago. I took this comment personally since I am on my way out, and no one has the right to tell me that I can't leave! No one has the right to tell me that I have to sit in this miserable existence and endure this pain forever! I'll admit to defeat, failure and being a loser, but at least give me the right to do what I want with my life! Since no one cares enough about me, why should my departure be "selfish"!? WTF!?!? Yes, I am quite annoyed about this statement as I feel it is yet another instance of someone trying to control my actions. For whatever stupid reason, I am very concerned about what people will think of me when I leave, and this comes across to me as now people will see me as having done something bad to them. Do any of you agree that this is selfish?