It's really strange... i think about suicide on a regular basis. sometimes i think about jumping infront of a train, sometimes cutting the arteries in my neck, and sometimes i just hope that i get shot in a drive-by-shooting or something. i also hate my self. i dont cut myself cause of the scars. however i beat my self up. strange . i barely eat and sleep for days. i never tried to kill myself. i never had the intention of killing myself. thinking about suicide gives me the feeling of glee and it makes me feel stronger. if im really depressed and i think about killing myself, i feel better afterwards. so back to my question: am i suicidal?!?