Am I the only one with no friends?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ItsNotTrue, Jan 16, 2010.

  1. ItsNotTrue

    ItsNotTrue Member

    I never had a lot of friends in my life. I only ever had 3 good friends. When we were teenagers we did a lot together. Went shopping, movies, each others houses. We saw each other a lot. Now we're 22/23 years old and my 3 friends have their own lives. Boyfriends, a good job, living quite a distance from each other.

    But I'm still jobless and can't seem to find a job. If I do, it's usually some low paid, supermarket job or something..I don't have a boyfriend because I don't know how to find one. I stay in my house a lot because I don't have any friends to go places with. I seem to do things by myself now.

    I only see my friends maybe once every 5 or 6 months now. I feel so depressed being by myself a lot and knowing I don't have many friends. I don't want a lot of friends, but I would like to see my old friends more often but that's just not possible due to their own lives...

    Is it just me, or can anyone else relate?
  2. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    i can relate...friends I had ended up so far away so I barely talk to them anymore...I'm all alone...if my mom didnt come visit me I think I'd be dead by now...I dont go out often either...
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I think that is why TV shows like Friends become so popular and stay on air so long. They are so unrealistic but yet they are what everyone else wishes they had in their lives. Where everyone wishes their lives were headed.

    The reality of life is that as we get older the more responsibilities we take on. And it puts a real stress on the ability to keep friends and all the "fun" times going. And then throw in mental health issues and you end up pretty much alone.

    You dont realize how much effort you put into being there for your friends. It was really time consuming. You had pretty regular contact. Went out all the time. And when that contact starts to become thready. So does the friendships.

    But true friends will still be there when you need them. No matter the distance or circumstances. I think you should try calling these friends atleast once a month. And try to make a night say once every two months where you all meet at a pretty central location and just go out and have fun. No talking about problems or families or jobs. Just out to a movie or the bar or even bowling. Whatever you can all really enjoy. Friends are great to have in your life. But friendship does take effort and commitment. And sometimes it just seems easier to let it slide than to really try.
  4. stuckinchicago6

    stuckinchicago6 Well-Known Member

    I pretty much have zero friends. I am 21.. I go to a state university, but I don't live on campus. There is not much of a sense of community either. Out of my group of friends from HS, I am the only one that went onto college which is weird. They all ended up having kids really young. I am not in the mommy club so they kind of don't like me anymore. One girl works at a grocery store near my house and she will not even talk to me when she sees me, but she will say "hi" to my mother. It kind of hurts because this girl was my best friend at one time, but whatever. Making friends as an adult has been hard for me. I have made a few friends, but they are more like acquaintances and they all have BFs so they are not really open to going out all the time. One thing that sucks about not having a group of girlfriends is that it is hard to meet guys because I never go out. When I was in HS, we would all go out together and meet boys.
  5. phoenix44

    phoenix44 Well-Known Member

    I don't have any friends. And by this I really do mean no one. It makes it hard to go places sometimes, especially to my college campus. At my college people are always happily chatting to each other, which makes me feel horrible. =( Anyways, I can totally relate to feeling left out when old friends move on with their lives, get jobs, etc. It seems like everyone I used to know has grown up and I'm just stuck.

    Hope things get better for you. Something I've been trying to do is to get involved in new activities like volunteering. Just to avoid monotony. It's not a guaranteed recipe for friends, but I think it helps ease loneliness to some extent.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 23, 2010
  6. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I'm 53 years old and I've been a homebody all of my life. I've lost contact with all friends I had in my young adult years. Time marches on. Look around for a group of people who share your interests. At least you go in there with something in common with everyone. I go to a knitting group each week.

    It takes time to meet friends. I've learned that most people I know are acquaintances. Only a few become our friends. But in going to some kind of group activity once a week, I don't feel lonely near as much as I use too.
  7. sammakko

    sammakko Banned Member

    I do not have any friends either.
  8. Vangelis

    Vangelis Well-Known Member

    I'm a ghost in this world. I'm left to observe the workings of people's interactions. I lost the ability to gain friends and I been friendless for awhile. I don't think people really see me, but rather right through me.
  9. Robin

    Robin Guest

    Anyone who has a Caddyshack avatar has got to be good company :)
  10. perry_mason

    perry_mason Well-Known Member

    i have no friends and by that i mean nobody at all.
    no online people, no people IRL, no people i only see every few weeks or whatever, etc.
  11. History

    History Well-Known Member

    my mobile used to ring tens of times each day..........until i fell into deep depression and isolated myself from everyone. now, it doesn't even ring for a week at times. My friends are all out there but they've moved on without me. So I've got many friends......who just don't look for me anymore.
  12. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    yep that's exactly what happened to me..I had a few friends but now that I isolated myself and dont feel like going out...I barely hear from phone usually only rings once a week because its my mom calling to ask if she can over the next day...or if a telemarketer has my phone number...other than that I'm sure it could be months before it rings...
  13. Mystic

    Mystic Well-Known Member

    I'm over 40, I have never had a single genuine friend in my life.
    I have never had a birthday party (or a party period)
    I have never had a birthday or Christmas card from anyone other than a few relatives, most of which won't even speak to me.

    When I got married, my wedding list consisted of my mother who had dementia at the time - because I had no one alse to ask. No Best Man, Groomsman or whatever.

    I have 170 "friends" on Facebook and only 3 of them will speak to me (even then they are people from work - but not real friends). I have no friends on here or on the many other forums I am on...because no one wants to know me.

    I go onto chat most days but I never have a conversation longer than three or four lines in a week because no one wants to talk to me, not even to say "hello" in the majority of cases.

    I have been to clubs, social groups, pubs, evening classes, colleges, sports clubs and everything else I could find...and I am still sat here alone and friendless and with an uncaring unloving wife who wouldn't give a crap if I was dead.
  14. History

    History Well-Known Member

    Isn't it sad? I once had a life *sob**sob**sob*.....not any more.
  15. History

    History Well-Known Member

    If I get married, I'll probably face the same situation as you did. Right now, I can't even think of anyone worthy to be in my invitation list after all the abandonment. BTW, don't be too sad bro, we're all here.
  16. iitywygmah

    iitywygmah Member

    I cannot even remember a time of havingany real friends, my family is huge yet I have always felt alone. I never go into detail with any of them about how I feel because they are all so happy, I will sometimes give out hints to kind of test their reactions it never turns out great, so for now I will keep it to myself.

    I have a few acquaintances that I have spent time with, but no one I could ever talk to about how I am really feeling.

    strange thing is that I was the one people went to with their problems when growing up, I fixed relationships, I have stopped others suicide attempts, housed a runaway, helped her return to her family and she is now happily married, family has cried on my shoulder about their problems because they call me the strong one, never have to worry about tina, where I see myself more of a hypocrite because I am falling apart at the seams and cannot see a way to save myself.

    I will continune to help them all when they come to me with their problems it is not something I can shut off.
  17. yorkie bar

    yorkie bar Well-Known Member

    Alone in desolation
  18. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    I also don't have friends, but for different reasons. I don't like people, I hate a lot of things and thus am perceived as having an atrocious attitude, and generally don't get along with anyone consistently, and therefore a person that people hate. Even the nicest people in the world don't like me, and that's not an exaggeration.

    So, at least people like you and you could have friends if they gravitated toward you. There's something positive, I guess.
  19. JonathanK

    JonathanK Well-Known Member

    I don't really have friends either. I asked someone who was an acquaintence if they wanted to hang out. They kept giving me the run around. They gave me their cell number, I'd leave about five messages, and never get a call back. Its pretty lame. I feel so alone.
  20. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I have never had a best friend because my dad was military and we moved every two years... The so called friends in high school were always making fun of me and trying to get me in fights..My last aquiantenances were twenty years ago and I pushed all of them away.. Since being on this forum I have made some friends and have carried two out into real life..We live thousands of miles away from each other but we talk every day..Yep been friendless all my life..