Tonight my son and I went to watch Suicide Squad (awesome movie btw) but when they were showing the trailers for the upcoming movies I found myself wondering if I would even be alive when these movies are released. My son wanted me to promise I would take him to see them, I couldn't make that promise. I can't promise I will be here next week. I thought in helping out here would be a release from the pain I feel, here lately it is not working so well. I'm really in a bad place tonight. I would give anything to have a friend I could talk too, right now. But I guess that is expecting too much. All I have is the sound of my son playing his stupid video games. He has no idea of the pain I am in. The pain he causes me every time I miss my daughter. The pain that is seemingly eating me alive, and is taking all joy I used to feel away. I know have no joy in my life. I have no hope. I have nothing but medicine bottles that promise to fix what ails me. All lies. Why do I continue to live? What's the point of it? Why do I live my life in constant pain? Why do I have no hope in life? Why do I have no joy in my life? Why do I even bother at all anymore, the more effort the more pain. Pain & Loneliness are the only constant in my life. Is that a life worth living?