Has anyone else have this happen to them: I have been having a really good day. Then WHAM, everything starts crashing around me and my suicidal thoughts return. The depression is in full force. I feel so damn worthless, and so overwhelmed, so useless. I am just so tired of it all. I want to stop fighting a futile fight. What is even my point of existing? I feel so alone. In my 42 years I don't think i have ever been happy but for a handful of days. What is the point of existing if it is only pain, sickness, and loneliness. I hate myself so much; for just being a total screwup. I haven't opened my mail in three months now, I have stacks of mail all over my place. It is just too much to deal with. I am so friggin tired of being in charge of everything.