am i the only one ?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by starryeyed, Feb 25, 2011.

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  1. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    i was wondering ,if I am the only one who literally has no one in her life.
    I have no frineds ,no partner ,no extended family .all i have is my family who abuse me ,all 4 of them .
    After my brother assaulted me and the guards didnt believe me ,I ran to my sisters.
    She told me to get out of her house .that did I have a shower I would dirty the place.Oph you left a plug in ,do you know how much that will cost.
    I dont want you there when I get back from work ,I will have to strip the sheets after you.
    You are so heavy you will break the bed.
    Am I going crazy ? Im looking for a flat but I, broke.Its taking ages to see anyone
     
  2. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    I'm quite the same I guess in that the if I disappeared it would take several days for anyone to notice despite that I live in the same house as a parent and two grandparents.
     
  3. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    what makes you think that>i once lay in bed here for a week not one person came near me
     
  4. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Same pretty much, I can go days without speaking a word to anyone.

    I feel your pain on that.
     
  5. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    I have no friends ,feel like Ill be alone forever
     
  6. Rollin40

    Rollin40 New Member

    same iv been aused my whole life i wuz yung i went weeks eating nuthin but dog food i wuz beatin with a pole or cut by mom she wuz out all day workin i didn t have a dad i live without love from a girl or frends im in a gang nd i wuz on drugs da only reasonb y im nt cuz dat girl dnt let me do it nd even now shed nevr be wit me damn imma fuckin loser
     
  7. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    ah no youre not a loser
    everyone deserves love
     
  8. MissMisery

    MissMisery Well-Known Member

    I feel alone I have since my illness began its very isolating I pushed people away and let them in a few times each time I get stabbed in the back mocked misunderstood and made to feel more a fool than I already do. My mum is my closest the only person I love but sumtimes I resent her for things she has done the way she can be I don't feel like she's been a mother for years she can't cope with me I make her ill she once referred to me as the thorn in her side. She's left home I've left home before but I came back. My family get me wrong everyone does, they see me as the ex alcoholic idiot childish freak tht just eats n pukes for sumthing to do like I'm tht pathetic. I've learnt to cope without ppl but its a bad place and I wish I had somebody I cud trust sumbody tht can see me and treat me like I exist
     
  9. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    It sounds like your sister has OCD.. She should help you.. Your blood andyou are suppose to look out for each other..I live with my sister and with all my problems I know she gets frustrated with me but she has learned to live with it..Sometimes we don't talk for weeks but just being here we stay close..
     
  10. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    starryeyed -

    i am very sorry for not getting back to your pm last week sooner. that was bad of me. i was having a rough time of it, but should have got back to you. i am sorry if my lack of response made you feel worse.

    but now im doing good, so you contact me if you are feeling this way and just need someone to scream or shoot the shit with, okay?

    you are important, take care of you..... first and foremost.

    take care.
     
  11. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    Thanks everyone
    my sister has ocd id say ,she rings my mother 100 times a day over and over and over ,you wouldnt believe it unless you were there
    its funny cos shes looking after disabled people and i dont think she was medically checked out for it
    shes not in her right senses ,and im the one who had the nervous breakdown but im so normal compared to them
    their behaviour is crazy
     
  12. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    ah crazy familys yeah i know that
    glad to see your breezy lol
     
  13. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    yeah thanks
    im happy cos my football team won today
    its always the small things
     
  14. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    good its the small bits of sunshine that break through the gloom right
    just try and find more small things to lift you everyday
     
  15. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    I try its easier when im distracted
     
  16. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    what sort of things do you do for distraction?
     
  17. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    go out driving ,watch films and football ,browse the net
    go on forums like these
    in saying that i come on forums like these cos im desperate
     
  18. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    all good distractions yes
    so youve watched football what film are you going to watch tonight
     
  19. how about going to find a job and live in a rented flat/room..?? rent a room in your friend's flat?
     
  20. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    I cant work as my health is pretty bad
    This is my main problem
    what friends flat the main reason for this post is im alone
     
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