im not quite sure where im going with this but here goes; for the last few years my life has been hell, admitting an alcohol problem, detox, counselling, different meds to help stabilise my mood and deal with the detox. then there was getting to the root of the problem...my past.. now im doing therapy to try help bring that stuff to the surface and put it away out of harms way. now im attending 3 differents support networks to do this and ive never felt worse in my life. i know that is part of the process and normal but ive never felt suicidal before now, so why put myself through it ? am i to blame for the past, am i to blame for the present, am i to blame for not being able to pick myself up out of this mess ? is all this shit in fact my fault ??? i dont know but what i do know is its getting harder and harder to get through each day.. even worse on a appointment day. im tired of being tired, im tired of not sleeping, im tired of.....life in general.