Am I weird for feeling this way

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by ashleyneedshope29, Sep 24, 2016.

  1. ashleyneedshope29

    ashleyneedshope29 Active Member

    So when i was a child i was physically and sexually abused and because of that I dont want to be intimate with men. Everytime i had a boyfriend in school i was verry uncomfortable with holding hands and kissing i just felt so disgusting with myself and i would end the relationship because i just didnt want to be in it anymore i would just get uncomfortable and skittish. I dont ever want to be intimate all i want is just friendship. Has anyone ever felt this way. I know what im feeling is natural and im not going to feel ashamed because of my feelings. I just dont think that ill ever be ok with intamicy ever.
    SunShine1973 likes this.
  2. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    I've had a similar upbringing Ashley and I don't think it's at all weird to feel like you're just not interested in intimacy. I was celibate for many years without even a desire and I didn't feel weird, it did feel natural. Have you gotten any therapy for your past? As I came to terms with things, my feelings changed and I appreciate the intimacy of my relationship now, but I'm in my 40's and it took a while. I'm sorry you went through that. But if you're happy right now, there is no need to change things.
  3. ashleyneedshope29

    ashleyneedshope29 Active Member

    yes i have been seeing a therapist for almost two years now and i do sometimes talk about my past sometimes with her my therapist. She doesnt judge me she really listens to me and is there for me.
    Frances M likes this.
  4. SunShine1973

    SunShine1973 Active Member

    I'm really interested to read your post I really struggle with being intimate and it holds me back from getting involved in relationships now I used to use alcohol to deal with it but that took me to a bad place and became very unhealthy and I don't drink at all now but I have liked reading your post that I'm not the only one who struggles to be intimate and it's good to read Frances reply who has managed to overcome this and is now in a relationship it's incredible that it can be dealt with