am one crazy shopper.. need to get help..

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by jimk, Aug 27, 2012.

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  1. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    have the money.. seem to have the desires and urges.. get troubled and off i often go dvd shopping.. been doing this for almost 12 yrs now.. start to think just how much money i may have spent doing this and then run away very fast.. numbers of dvd movies, television seasons and bluray movies is really fucking insane.. got more than enuf for ten dvd addicts.. my recently departed and retired therapist tara and i never really got intensive talking about this all. was close to breaking down with other issues.. and i do have the money..

    was feeling a bit overwhelmed and hour or so ago.. went to amazon again.. damn it.. over the next 5 days i will unfortunately receive via UPS 7 brand new television seasons at my front doorstep.. need these abolut as much as i need another darn hole in my head.. 2 tuesdays from now the new realeases for television seasons will be the next one of fringe, greys atnatomy, person of interest and another one which escapes my poor head atm.. have actually watched the prior seasons of these shows on dvd.. guess i need the next ones...

    after i finish this post i am going to email my brand new therpist Holly and suggest one of topics we talk about at my 2nd apt with her the last week of september.. okay i know this is up to me only to change this behavior.. got one habit the marlboros that i may not be able to ditch already.. life without marlboros is an area that i really do not want to go to.. dvds is not as bad as smoking.. could try to really ration and choose carefully the ones i fell i just have to own.. feel i need fringe, greys anatomy person of interest and the other one on the 4th.. i am deluded... and one really crazy ass sion of a gun..

    at least i am not in the middle of uncontrollerable paranoid schizophrenia, blood curdling severe depression, ocd attacks that take me an hour or more to check, rechecking things before i can even get to the doorknob.. am not very often in a dissociative state which lasts several days, am not terrified any more being around in an open space with many people i do not know.. truth is i am doing much better than i was about 12 yrs ago.. still slightly mad but kind of in control most times..

    there are worse things i have done over the years for sure.. so what if i have 11 bookshelves and two large cabinets full of dvds. allison john's state caseworker has seen the hourse yearly for last couple of years.. her comment was you seem to have some televison setup and some dvds here in your house.. she was beign nice to her only further question was does john enjoy the music and movies also that you indulge in???? answer is yes he does..

    done now with this inner conversation.. going back to more of season 8 of tv show house.. sort of like this
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    If you are not going broke or using money for that that you know you should be using someplace else therefore depriving you or Johnny of something you actually need like food, clothing, safe home or whatever then I would call it indulging an interest/hobby/ or collection and simply enjoy it. It is good to have interests and do good nice things for yourself. I have developed a seep personal relationship with amazon as well over the years and it concerned me once so I paid off the card and closed the account. A month later I got new card in mail with higher limit... and used it. Talk to therapist and if he doesn't see something self destructive in it then just enjoy your hobby/collection.

    ps - do you have the old MASH tv series on DVD? Can I borrow them?
  3. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    yes Ben i got the entire mash show on dvd.. including the movie at the end.. wish i could have you over and we woudl do a beverage and popcorn and what this.. all 11 seasons would take us a hawkeye , radar , trapper john and all the rest were great..
  4. Finance

    Finance Well-Known Member

    Sounds fine. Good fo you, having a hobby.

    It's hard to get in trouble watching MASH....
  5. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    Finance calling my demented DVD obsession a hobby is very kind of least today do not think I am going to buy anything..
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