I have been suffering from depression for most of my life. I have struggled with addiction and have been on methadone for over 15 years and also anti-depressants for over 20 years. I believe that my brain is permanently damaged from the long term use of these drugs. I have not showered for over a week I have only left the house to get groceries once. I cant get relief from TV anymore. I have no brothers and 2 sisters. I have called both my sisters over a week ago with no return call. They never call me. My parents never call me. I am just a bother to them. I cant blame them I am tired of me as well. I can go on forever about how my life is so screwed up but the point I am making is I just do not see a way out of this. I just want to get the motivation I need to carry this out so I can end the non-stop suffering. Please help me out here. I am so over this life of misery.