Am so ready to leave this life.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ccjohncc, Jun 21, 2010.

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  1. ccjohncc

    ccjohncc New Member

    I have been suffering from depression for most of my life. I have struggled with addiction and have been on methadone for over 15 years and also anti-depressants for over 20 years. I believe that my brain is permanently damaged from the long term use of these drugs. I have not showered for over a week I have only left the house to get groceries once. I cant get relief from TV anymore. I have no brothers and 2 sisters. I have called both my sisters over a week ago with no return call. They never call me. My parents never call me. I am just a bother to them. I cant blame them I am tired of me as well. I can go on forever about how my life is so screwed up but the point I am making is I just do not see a way out of this. I just want to get the motivation I need to carry this out so I can end the non-stop suffering. Please help me out here. I am so over this life of misery.
  2. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    i live really close to you john. by the way, my name is also john.
  3. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I know the feeling on siblings not returning communication. I was opening up to my sister about a month ago. Then suddenly the emails stopped coming "I want to help bro" is what she said. I do not believe her any more. Sometimes those who are supposed to care about us are just unreliable.
  4. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi John and welcome to SF. I'm sorry to hear that you're going through so much pain and suffering and that your family doesn't want to speak to you. You've come to the right place to get help with you're depression. There are lots of kind and caring people who are always happy to help. Please don't give up. :hug:
  5. isocial

    isocial Active Member

    Its very hard to hear jhon..i can understand your feelings jhon.
    even i too had a same problem in 1 year before that time my friends and family helped me to recover from that .my advice is you just share your sadness to your loved one.
  6. ccjohncc

    ccjohncc New Member

    Hi thanks for the reply/post. I am feeling much better. After many hours of research on the internet I found that I was dropping too fast off the methadone. I have upped my dose and feel much better. Now I just have to explain all to my GP and hope he understands. I am pretty sure he will because I have come so far from 220mg per day to 30 but now at 50.

  7. ema

    ema Antiquities Friend

    Sometimes we know our bodies best. Hopefully, your GP will understand and help.

    I'm glad you are feeling better. Keep going! I have nobody to talk to as my family doesn't understand my issues at all and think I'm wasting money on my doc. But, it's not a waste and people all over DO care.

    I think you've got a lot of courage to do what you're doing!

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