Am sure no one loves or cares about me

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by P.E., Nov 28, 2012.

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  1. P.E.

    P.E. New Member

    Hi. I called 911 yesterday to get the phone number of a suicide hotline. They sent two policemen to my home and then a police counselor. I felt better after talking to her, started making good plans for the future. But each day my kids or family members don't call me, I feel worse and worse. Right now I feel hopeless and aimless and I think I have nothing to offer the world. Very, very painful. I keep looking at< edit moderator total eclipse triggering>
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 28, 2012
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Ihope you can call the police councilor back and talk again hun. Harming yourself will only upset the ones around you even more
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Am assuming you live alone :unsure:
    I have seen how much being a widow has affected my mother, she often sees slights where non were intended and feels abandoned if I don't ring every day.
    Living alone, especially when you have had a houseful can be soul destroying, perhaps a gentle message to family that you need them around?
  4. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Hi PE - Please do call back to the hotline. About your family not calling you - sometimes we have to tell others what we need because they simply don't realize what is so important to us for many reasons. Its not anything intentional they do, but others can assume many things about us.

    My example would be that I lost my soulmate in Spring of this year. Family members who came to the funeral never returned since and have called me less than the number of fingers on one hand since. They don't know how difficult this time has been. I could, of course, have told them but for a long time I felt it wasn't up to me to do that. As in, couldn't they see the pain I was in? (and the answer was no because I live in a different country) And I hide things well.

    Anyhow, please call the hotline, and we're always here too.
  5. P.E.

    P.E. New Member

    Thank you for your response. It feels good just to communicate with someone about this. It's been turbulent times - a sick brother I am very close to took 45 codeine pills and left a "good-bye cruel world" message on Facebook just a few days before a big family reunion at my mother's house, which is where I live. Turns out the pills had no effect - he has no large intestine, wasn't able to digest them. But I had gone through 24 hours of checking at his apartment to see if he was breathing. Told my daughters, who were in from out of town, but they didn't concern themselves about it and haven't heard from them since they left town.

    I may try the counselor. I've boxed myself in: don't have insurance, no counseling. Want to stop care-taking my mother and brother.

    Well, thanks again. Talking seems to help.

  6. P.E.

    P.E. New Member

    Thanks. Don't want to harm myself, just want to stop feeling so isolated. But your response is much appreciated. Glad I stopped in here. Will keep trying. - P.E.
  7. P.E.

    P.E. New Member

    Hi, I'd like to give my family a gentle message, but not sure how to do that. I think my pride might be getting in the way... Thanks for your response.
  8. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    As the saying goes " a problem shared is a problem halved".

    keep posting and there is chat for the really hard days. :smile:
  9. Count Floyd

    Count Floyd Well-Known Member

    Hi PE. I remember a few years back I had no medical insurance at all, I went through the county and they set me up with a counselor that was a "pay what you have" type of thing and they got me on meds (which helped for a while, I'm long off them now). That's an option for you too. Look in your phone book for county medical assistance.
  10. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Hi P.E.
    I can't add anything here because I think everyone pretty much has it covered. Just wanted to let you know to hang in there.
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